At Peace

For me the most challenging topic in life has always been relationships.

In the Balanced View Training I was powerfully shown how the most important relationship to clarify is the relationship to myself.

Thanks to this simple understanding and constant support from the Four Mainstays over the years, I now see how many behaviours I really did not like in myself have relaxed and opened up.

For example, before meeting the education in the nature of mind offered by Balanced View, my default setting was to consistently find someone or something to blame if things did not go my way.

I would spend a lot of time and energy trying to work out why certain things turned out the way they did, and how I could bring about a change.

I am a bit ashamed to say this, but I would often sulk if I didn’t get what I wanted!

Most of the time I didn’t have a clue how to behave in a mature and dignified way.

I’m sure I was a nice person in many ways, but I certainly felt heavily challenged with myself and how I related in life.

My main strategy usually involved so much effort trying to change myself and other people so that I could feel better.

Now when I reflect on how I used to be, it sounds absurd, but at the time that was the only strategy I had.

I could certainly see that it didn’t work, but I didn’t have another choice.

That’s the incredible revolution Balanced View brought for me, in this one simple change of allowing myself to be as I am, whatever I am experiencing, and really making it clear that I have a choice in every single situation, no matter how wronged, justified or outraged in my perceptions I might feel.

By applying this little commitment again and again throughout the day, I started to see unbelievable changes in my speech and behaviour, and amazingly, in the way that I relate to my thoughts, emotions and experiences.

Where there used to be a lot of ranting in thoughts and speech, there started to be more openness, spaciousness and a sense of fun.

Now I often chuckle at the random and intense things that can come up for me, and it has become much easier to stop connecting the dots, “I feel this way because of this, and if I do that, this will happen, and I wish that person did this and not that because then I would feel better.”
That used to be what my conclusions about things looked like, but I am not really interested in that anymore.

By being able to allow my data to be as it is more and more, I started to see I was no longer trying to change myself and everyone around me.

Being with people started being a lot more relaxed, enjoyable and rich.

I had this impression before that people were really draining, but what was draining was my incapacity to be at ease with all the data that come up about people.

Now that I can let that be as it is and not take it to mean anything about anyone in particular, I have so much space to actually enjoy people, truly listen and be available.

I have so many ideas and opinions about myself, everyone, everything, and more and more I can just let those be as they are. They are less distracting.

These ideas and opinions change all the time, and I feel so grateful and truly satisfied to no longer take them seriously.

As a result I experience deep peace within myself.

I have experimented with allowing myself to be as I am in very intense data storms where it seemed impossible to just be myself with all the fear, self-hatred, self-criticism and grief.

I took a lot of support to harmonise the relationship to myself.

One moment at a time, I have learned that there is nothing in these emotions that can actually harm me, and I borrowed the assurance of my open intelligence elders many times.

I let data be as they are, one step at a time, and while feeling all these things, I am able to also care for myself in a loving and simple way and truly feel indestructible peace.

To me that is crucial because it allows me to offer that space of peace to anyone around me who is feeling particularly afflicted and not good enough.

It’s such a gift to offer an example of not relating from self-aggression.

I can be with people without being disturbed by their data, and just focus on being of service, because I can be with myself without being disturbed by my data, and serve myself so beautifully through the Four Mainstays support.

I want to finish by sharing a sentence from one of the texts, which I often hear in my mind and has always been of support to me: “Just relax and take care of yourself as you are.”

I love this care and simplicity, and it really has changed everything for me ūüôā

Thank you so much dearest Candice and everyone in the community. Gaelle

A precious present to parenthood

Our son was born some two years ago, as cute as he was, and still is, sleeping well at nights and afternoon naps were not his strong side. Countless very early mornings with little sleep at night, waking up at the break of day, to support a tired and upset baby/toddler.

I can’t begin to thank this teaching, as it brought about the most lovely transition I could think as a parent – having the possibility to stay relaxed and even sometimes cheerful while being deprived of sleep for long stretches – one of my biggest challenges.

Situations where before it would have been so easy to snap, to lose patience – to not go there – to stay available – the teaching of natural rest is a parenthood treasure for me; I can’t think of any technique or mode of action that I’ve learnt before that would have supported me in this way.

I find it so very valuable to not get angry handling him – when a challenging time has passed, remaining cool – I look back at it with great gratitude – knowing how it could be different, how readily close were other modes of conduct before. This teaching brought then and brings now much laughter and cheer – the best parenthood course ever.

I wish to deeply thank Candice O’Denver, the founder of Balanced View, the trainers and the courageous world wide community.

Living More Spontaneously

I’ve realised that in the past before Balanced View I had a real blockage in not understanding that data is like ‘golden coins’ & that it is the shining part of O.I. if only I had courage to release it.

I have always been very much solution orientated. If I had I a problem I set out the hard way working out the answer step by step, unable just to relax and let the solution just arise by itself. I’ve always been a swot, swotted my way through school and university and still continued to swot up my lessons like mad before teaching, spending hours researching my subject so that I could offer only the very best, the very newest and up to date methods . I simply wanted to give of my very best and doubted I could do that if I didn’t plan everything out meticulously. I couldn’t just be slap happy and keep repeating the same old thing, people deserved to receive only the best possible every time.

I never guessed that I could change all that. Perhaps I didn’t try hard enough, or perhaps because it always seemed to work I didn’t want to change and although I was quite happy to let things be in other areas of my life I never realised how unnecessary it was to be so uptight about getting everything right.

Now I can still do my research and still know that when I relax with short moments I can be so much more spontaneous in my relationship with my students & can relax and let new and inspired ideas flow together with all the ‘learned stuff ‘. It is so eye opening to see what a revolution that has created for me in my work. We actually have fun in lessons and laugh and enjoy odd moments of shared enthusiasm.

Succeeding in business through humility

One of the most valuable lessons I learned through living the 4 mainstays lifestyle is that I don’t need to do everything by myself.

Instead I have become open to listen and learn from people who already have more experience, since I know now that this makes life so much easier.

Just like I rely on my trainer and Candice for gaining assurance in open intelligence, I now rely on mentors in business for advice and instructions.

Candice has often shared to learn from the best in any field and since applying this advice I have made amazing progress in my business.

I feel now that I can do anything because fundamentally we are all the same and if I learn from people who are already very successful, their ways of doing things becomes my own and I can achieve similar success than they do.

It is such a joy to work this way, allowing myself to be supported, learning from the best, being unafraid of failure, having great relationships with the people I work with and making a positive impact in people’s life.

I feel so deeply blessed by all the riches I receive through living the Balanced View 4 mainstays lifestyle.

In love,
Julien

Gratitude for Community

Recently my partner Max and I just returned to a beautiful little mountain town we lived in some years back, which happens to be where 4 of our Balanced View community friends live. They were a significant part of the pull to move back, and while living in Vancouver we had occasionally made the long drive to book meetings with our friends in the mountains, or held them in Vancouver.

Why this draw to be together and read a book together, or share about what we’ve noticed happening in our lives when we rely on open intelligence? Because it is absolutely enriching to my life; I’m inspired by these other precious human beings who are taking responsibility for their speech and actions in this world.

Before or after our meetings, we enjoy food and coffee together and easefully chat about one thing or another. Even if I am tired, or for whatever reason the resistance right before heading to the meeting comes up that I don’t want to go or I’m too busy; I am always glad I went and grateful to be in the presence of such stable, relaxed, and naturally funny people.

When human beings are relaxed and open, these beautiful qualities that are so enjoyable to be around and express flow so naturally. I don’t have to figure out what the best thing to say is or how I look to them, and they don’t either. If those thoughts or any other ones come up for any of us, all of us know it’s okay and doesn’t have to be where we stop and conclude anything about each other. Simply together enjoying the same presence and the unique offerings of each person as they are. This feels like the future of humanity.

I find myself wanting our society’s technology to advance faster so I can instantly communicate or be with community friends all over the world that I’ve had the pleasure of getting to know on¬†Balanced View’s clarity calls, or at gatherings in San Rafael and Sweden. There are beautiful beings living in France, Ukraine, Sweden, Australia, India, the UK, and other places all around this planet who I consider very close friends that I am lucky to know, and to have an instant way to communicate and viscerally enjoy their company would be the best.

To me, what is evoked from the Balanced View training feels kind of like the ultimate communication technology: the language of inherent empathy and love for other beings and this planet that is effortlessly the case. From there, even if we don’t conventionally have certain data preferences in common, anyone can be a friend when both people are committed to relaxing with their own data. It’s quite something to experience.

I have the deepest gratitude to Candice for creating Balanced View; which was a sun that radiated strong yet kind beings all over the world who were demonstrating something no one else in the world was. A true relaxation to their core, willing to face every horrible and beautiful thing about this existence of ours openly, and recognize what is unchanged by any experience. Thank you forever, one and all.

♡ Megan

Beneficial potency set free!

Dear friend,
I’d like to share this time about my new job and all the empowerment I see in taking on new roles.
For most of my work-life, I’ve had the attitude of wanting to accomplish and strive as little as possible, to just do the bare minimum of what I was expected to and then focus my energy on my free time, relationships, traveling etc etc. Looking back, I can see I was always stingy and felt I needed to guard myself and my energy so that I wouldn’t be exploited by an employer or drain my energy from the things I really wanted to do. I’ve had a new job with new assignments since August and I can see so many shifts and openings, through using the Four Mainstays support-network of the Balanced View Training.

For one thing, through the support of my trainer, I have been able to identify an area where I actually want to contribute my strengths, gifts and talents. This used to be so vague to me and it seemed like there would be no way to make money off of something that I actually enjoy but that work is simply a means to an end.
Secondly, now that I’m more clear about how, why and where I’m contributing my beneficial potency, it’s like a great fire of energy has been released. Spontaneously I want to contribute more than perhaps is asked for, I volunteer to take part in new work teams, to learn about new areas and then lead workshops for my team and I rejoice in learning new skills within the niche I’m in. Where there was stinginess and suspicion, there is now a free-flow of giving, the joy of being part of a powerful team and contributing as fully as I can to the team and the benefit of all.

During these months, I have of course also seen many challenging data related to work come up. First of all, it’s a relief to be assured by community and trainers that it is completely normal to have many negative data streams when expanding one’s comfort zone, learning new skills and contributing in an area that we’re passionate about. Just this is of immense support: I don’t have to waste my energy wondering about the negative data and whether I would be better off somewhere else, but can integrate them and allow them to be until they self-resolve. Specifically, when overwhelm, self-doubt, stress and worry come up, I have decided to go even further in integrating the Four Mainstays into my work day. I start each day with writing out text and look at the sky, if possible I keep talks on in the background while working and during my lunch break I try to watch a video with a trainer. This supports me so much and each time the same old data come up I notice they seem less and less real and substantial. The most important change though has been to be very clear in my motivation: whenever I feel resistance or boredom I return to my overall commitment and intention which is to use each aspect of my everyday qualities and activities to benefit all. The benefits that this brings are hard to put into words: I find it takes the edge off all self-concerns, self-doubts and general negative under mutter and places everything in the context of complete exaltation and honor to contribute!

Thank you to Candice O’Denver and the Balanced View Training for showing me how to live a life of flourishing and satisfaction in all ordinary and everyday experiences!

Freedom in Disease

I came to the training of Balanced View five years ago and it has completely changed my life!!!
I come to see that I am perfect as I am!!
Since I was young (58 years old today) I have suffered very much of disease, rheumatism, and today I don’t. By the Four Mainstays I saw that I was living in a constant fear of pain in my body, and I always felt like a victim.
The Training, the Four Mainstays give me a perfect trust and courage to feel everything completely, to completely rest in the midst of the feeling of pain, fear and victimhood, giving me contact with the feelings and ideas about myself that really made me suffer most of my life. This led to a wonderful release of these feelings and self hate, a wonderful freedom!!
Today I can live fully, in love and gratitude, even in pain and disease, and I am so much better in my body as well as in my mind!!
With gratitude Per

Empowered to be responsible at work

I have never enjoyed cleaning, and working in a hospital, not only do I have to keep things clean from everyday dirt, there are also highly contagious infectious diseases to worry about.

‚ÄčI‚Äčn my role as a health care assistant, the task of cleaning the sluice (the place where all bodily fluids and excrement are disposed of) was ‚Äčnot a popular one, in fact I would avoid this task unless specifically asked, ‚Äčhoping someone else would do it and ‚Äčfearing the infectious diseases and the powerful chemical we use to clean the entire room every day.

It‚Äôs been amazing to see that with simple participation in the Balanced View Teaching, taking short moments with my thoughts, emotions and experiences, and participating in the trainings and Clarity Calls, a natural wish to step up to my responsibilities has arisen in me and the capacity for deep care of others has taken priority over the habitual reliance on descriptions, like fear and disgust‚Äč.‚Äč ‚ÄčS‚Äč‚Äčince receiving the introduction to open intelligence at a Balanced View Open Meeting, I‚Äôve been shown ‚Äčthese descriptions ‚Äčsimply appear and disappear, like a line drawn in water.

I’ve also been deeply impressed by the shining example of the Trainers and participants from whom I’ve experienced the deepest care and compassion and who I see serve whatever circumstance they are in with such heartfelt commitment to being the greatest benefit they can be.

Another thing I love about relying on open intelligence is how gifts and talents I didn‚Äôt know I had emerge and become available to use whenever needed. For example, since participating in the Teaching, I‚Äôve ‚Äčdiscovered ‚Äčthoroughness is one of my natural gifts‚Äč. ‚ÄčI really like to ensure things are done well.

All of this empowerment has meant that I now volunteer to clean the sluice. I can even say I enjoy it! I don‚Äôt enjoy being in the infectious room with all the bodily ‚Äčfluids‚Äč, but I enjoy contributing my gift of thoroughness whilst cleaning‚Äč, k‚Äčnowing that I am keeping vulnerable patients safe from infections and I am giving them the gift of clean equipment to use, instead of something extra to worry about ‚Äčin addition to‚Äč serious illness. I also enjoy contributing to my team in this way, volunteering to do a task that nobody else wants to do and feeling such compassion for others, knowing the thoughts and emotions that I was affected by before I began relying on open intelligence‚Äč,‚Äč‚Äč and feeling very grateful that ‚ÄčI’ve ‚Äčbeen so fortunate to ‚Äčmeet the Balanced View Teaching ‚Äčbecause I hardly‚Äč notice those thoughts and emotions anymore‚Äč. Instead I am‚Äč filled with the joy and the power of the heart‚Äč ‚Äčwish to benefit others.

This is a simple example of ‚Äčjust one of ‚Äčthe benefits of the Balanced View Teaching‚Äč,‚Äč but for me it is very powerful to see a ‚Äčcomplete ‚Äčtransformation occur with such care and compassion for all. It makes me really see how if open intelligence was relied upon to solve global problems that are currently avoided such as homelessness, prostitution, slavery, nuclear waste ‚Äčand plastic disposal, ‚Äč‚Äčhow wonderful the results would be for humanity and our entire planet of beautiful beings.

I am so deeply grateful to Candice O’Denver who has made the Teaching of Balanced View so accessible for all and to everyone who chooses to step into their immensely beneficial power by participating. Thank you!

With love,
Jess

Health: From Hope and Fear To Care

Something that has always been interesting for me is health and how to stay healthy. Eat the right kind food, workout a lot, think about my body and how to sculpture it, etc.. I was quite obsessed about it I would say.

I loved to do those things but in one way it felt like I was trapped and didn’t have a real choice if I wanted to do it or not. What would happen if I suddenly stopped working out or eat “bad” food? Would all that I had built up be for nothing?

A lot of hope and fear around that area.. Hope that I would feel great if eating the perfect food and workout x amount of hours/day and fear that something terrible would happen if I stopped. Would I be accepted by people around me? Would I feel ok?

I clearly remember the day this shifted within me.

During the Twelve Empowerments, one of Balanced View‘s main courses, I realized that this was something going on within me and a struggle. I hadn’t seen it before.

Taking a closer look on how I actually related to myself in this regard and get to know that I could simply relax with this. I didn’t have to continue on with this game of struggle. Just leave it as it is..

Of course, it’s not so easy to just stop but to use the Four Mainstays, the support structure of Balanced View, I received great support to just relax. Listened to talks, write to my trainer about it and open up in that way, participate in trainings. So beneficial.

And one day, just like that, it struck me.

I am free.

I can stop working out. I can eat whatever food. And it would be fine. It was like being released from a mental prison that I didn’t even know I was in. Quite bold to state it like this but I think people can relate to what I am saying. This was my experience. Now I had an option and not stucked into an idea of how I had to live and go about this.

When I felt I had a choice, the workout started to become more fun and enjoyable, and I felt that my body could relax. My eating habits started to become more relaxed and I felt that I could enjoy all kinds of food and not beat myself up for eating whatever I eat.

It has opened up new ways for what I feel is good for my body when it comes to working out and eating and I feel much more healthy now than ever.

For me it is beautiful and supportive to simply enjoy the training and implement it in a practical way like this, something that provides benefit in everyday life.

I hope this share is supportive and will contribute to those who are reading to know that there is definitely a way to live a relaxed life.

With love and gratitude,

Johan

A Beautiful Choice

In the Balanced View Training I am shown that in each moment and situation in life, I have a powerful choice: the choice to completely relax and to respond from that deep peace and clarity.
 
At the start, I was not sure how completely relaxing would be of help in very practical challenges of everyday life. Conflicts in teams, misunderstandings in close relationships, challenges with acquaintances, confusion in decision-making, money matters, severe health problems, emotional instability… I thought, “How can complete relaxation help with all these impossible problems?” It did not make any sense because I had always only seen and been taught the choice of over-thinking, over-analysing, discussing everything at length and being really tense about everything.
 
To my amazement, my first moments of complete relaxation totally opened up some deep-seated trauma I had been very burdened by for most of my life. The short moments of complete relaxation also supported me directly in the midst of severe panic and anxiety attacks. As months went by and I committed again and again to this beautiful choice, I could see I was really relaxing, I was feeling free in severe chronic pain, the anxiety was melting away, I could sleep again, I felt happier and wishing well for everyone with the capacity to be more available.
 
I became less aggressive, more settled, more able to listen and to respond with real kindness and more wisdom. It was incredible to me, and it was like the training of over-stressing about everything was being deactivated and my whole behaviour was being upgraded. I have become so much kinder to myself, and I feel truly relaxed most of the time.
 
Things that used to throw me over completely no longer impact or distract me. At the same time, whenever a problem occurs, I find the right words to discuss it in a simple and direct way, and it is easy for me to focus on solutions instead of blame.
 
Everything still comes up in various situations, and I can still see that sometimes I respond with over-stressing and too much thinking. It’s not always easy for me to remember the choice to completely relax, and that’s why I am beyond grateful for the 24/7 support I get in Balanced View. There is nothing I cannot be supported with, and there is not 1 minute in 24 hours where that support is unavailable. That has been the case for 6 years! It’s really amazing for me to reflect on this.
 
Thank you with all my heart for this beautiful upgrade and community of truly supportive friends in complete relaxation that benefits all areas of life. Gaelle