As I reflect about 2016 what stands out is the shift in how I relate to the people in my life.
Before starting Balanced View Training I was very lonely. I was surrounded by family and friends and yet I always felt alone, misunderstood, invisible.
Remembering the sting of ongoing rejection when I was a child, I spent most of my life working at creating a personality with the purpose of gaining love and approval from others by sharing stories of blame and by judging others in order to feel better about myself. Ultimately, I found that this way of relating did not work as it perpetuated a cycle of a false personality that always wanted to change myself, someone or something in order to achieve momentary fulfillment. Nothing lasted, nothing was ever good enough. There was always competition with others as feelings of jealousy and shame were believed to be real and then acted out. This happened over and over again.
Since this was what I had been taught, it was the only way I knew to be with others. The suffering that came from the wall of separation became more intense and in order to cope I found another solution — avoidance. I used excuses to avoid engaging with people. I used my work, physical ailments, and numbing activities like computer surfing, watching tv, eating, shopping and whatever excuse I could find to distract myself so I could avoid facing the intense data streams that would come up within me while in the company of others. Much of the time, when invited to do something with someone, I was always too busy or too tired or too sick. With such avoidance of myself and others going on it was not surprising that I felt invisible.
Fortunately today, as I take advantage of the ongoing support offered by Balanced View my perspective is expanding. I see that isolation was a choice I made and now I know that I have another choice; to take a short moment and allow my data to be as it is. By choosing to take short moments I am empowered to take responsibility and face data streams that only I can face. And, my data streams are no longer my enemy, they are my friends. As I enjoy openhearted relating with my data streams, I enjoy openhearted relating with the people in my life.
I find the perfect wisdom of open intelligence is healing the relationship with myself and old painful wounds of misunderstanding with others are being transformed into a rich connections based on compassion and mutual respect. Also, this profound wisdom has shown me the many expressions of love as I find peace regarding relationships that need healthy boundaries. I am most grateful for wise discernment that guides me as I make a heartfelt empowered choice to limit contact with some people because that is what is best for everyone (including myself). I can now see there are many skillful ways that I can be available while no longer enabling destructive self-marginalization in others. Taking a stand like this can be a most loving act.
From the growing expansive view of open intelligence I realize that my circumstances have not really changed, it is just my perspective that is opening. I see the loving mutual benefit at the basis of relationships has always been there even though before it was hidden from view. I am so very grateful as I live this amazing life full of friendship, love, affection, kindness, fun, good cheer and much more than I can put into words.
As I open more and more to myself and others, I discover I am not alone, everyone has the same data streams. We all have the same opportunity to choose open intelligence and extract the power and benefit from it. We are all in this together!
Starting the New Year I am more enthusiastic than ever about Balanced View and will continue to take advantage of the wonderful support offered. I look forward to being with you all as we attend powerful trainings and supportive clarity calls. See you there soon!
With much love,