The Instant Oasis of Short Moments

I recall going through life learning to focus on what I lacked; that I never quite had what I needed to be okay. I needed to be thinner, I needed to never feel depressed or angry, I needed to be smarter and more interesting so more people would like me, I needed way more money and all the experiences and objects that money could afford. The list of vague, dreamy desires was literally endless. Residing in the middle of a stagnant tornado of wants, never knowing there was another option, I had no idea how painful of a way that was to live.

Even as I attained certain desires or adopted new ones, I found shifting around the contents of my life didn’t take that thorn out of my paw, and that became more and more depressing and confusing. Happiness and contentment felt elusive, like an invisible slippery fish I could never keep hold of. Everywhere I went, someone or something was telling me that if I worked hard enough, my happiness could be found in attaining all the things and experiences I craved, and in only feeling positive thoughts and emotions while avoiding the negative ones. My heart aches at this impossible task that is thrust upon us as if it were true.

When I met the Balanced View Training, I was met with the message again and again that I was okay regardless of my circumstances, thoughts or emotions. At first I felt affronted by this, “How dare you tell me I’m already okay, I don’t have all the things I want and I think so many negative thoughts! I am not good enough yet! Maybe you can say you’re okay because you don’t really know what it’s like to be depressed, or you have more money than me and never have to worry about paying rent…” Defensive ideas would whir and flare up at any mention that right here, right now, with whatever was going on in my life, I could relax and recognize that I am always stable and well, regardless of any data I was experiencing.

But even with sometimes intense resentments and victimhood flaring up during the years I’ve showed up to this incredible training, fortuitously, I kept coming back. Whatever ideas or doubts I had, I was magnetized by the lived example of so many relaxed and stable beings that demonstrated such natural integrity and authenticity. No matter how close I analyzed, how much I tried to pick apart certain advice or suggestions given to me, the trainers and participants in Balanced View met me with openness, empowerment, and effortlessly walking the walk they were speaking about in their own everyday life. Nowhere in sight was there any, “Do as I say, not as I do,” but rather, as I showed up and got to know the beautiful trainers, participants, and Candice, I saw people from all walks of life facing all intensities of situations and experiences with a natural stability and openness that I did not know was possible in human beings, and realized that was what I actually wanted in life. Not objects, not certain positive experiences, but contentment, stability and relaxation in every moment, regardless of what I was thinking or feeling. Was it actually possible?

As trust grew, I became willing to test the simple instruction offered in Balanced View in every facet of daily life—the good, the bad and the ugly. For short moments, whenever I naturally remembered, I relaxed completely with whatever I was thinking, feeling or experiencing. Sometimes it was easy and an instant relief, sometimes it felt impossible and I would have the openness more and more to actively rely on the other Mainstays such as my trainer, the endless free media on www.balancedview.org, and an incredible community of friends that I had connected with through clarity calls and online trainings.

Relying on short moments and the Mainstays was not instantly comfortable for me; but with each situation I tested relaxing body and mind completely for even just a short moment—whether it was with racing thoughts at night when trying to get to sleep, or in a depressed void of hopelessness where it felt like nothing mattered—it became more and more natural, helpful and powerful in every single circumstance.

When talking to various people I felt I didn’t like or want to be around, I tested if could relax and remain open without making the stories that I don’t like them the filter through which I treated or spoke to them. I discovered so many beautiful interactions and connections that I would have never experienced due to flimsy, illusory ideas I had projected onto other human beings. “They are weird, they are boring, they are annoying, they are too negative and I feel affected by their negativity…” quieted down and gradually ceased altogether. Now, even if judgemental ideas of someone do arise, they are no longer taken to be instantly true just because I thought them. Practicing short moments in these situations, less and less did I even bother with categorizing people into those I like and those I don’t, and a beautiful openness and innate respect bloomed and continues to bloom naturally.

When I felt like I had way too much to do—too many shifts at work, deadlines, responsibilities I didn’t think I wanted—could I relax there too? Over time, willing to be willing, I discovered again and again: yes. I got to see directly that being relaxed did not mean I wasn’t alert, active, and doing things. In fact, being relaxed during all responsibilities and tasks such as hard physical work or exercise, errands, helping customers at work—I saw I could accomplish so much more and with a higher quality of care and attention when thoughts of stress, overwhelm and avoidance were not my primary focus.

If the thoughts do arise, “This is too much, I can’t do this, I’d rather not be doing anything…”, they are as harmless as floating dandelion seeds or ever-shifting clouds; no power over me or need to avoid or get rid of them. More and more what is of most benefit to all—myself included in the all—is obvious and natural, and my true heart-wish. What is of most benefit does not mean only what will bring me the most positive data, and I am so grateful to see this now and not be strung along by that carrot on a stick.

Through participating in Balanced View in whatever ways felt natural for me, over time a steadfast awareness has become obvious that I am already okay, already complete as I am, with whatever is going on. No vacation, no amount of money, no slough of perfectly positive experiences can add to that okayness or take it away if I don’t get them. This is something I still and forever have the pleasure of discovering anew in every situation that arises; positive, negative or neutral. Even the categories of positive, negative and neutral are less and less noticed, and that is so relaxing and exciting. From there I am just free to live and enjoy the fruit of all experiences and what they have to teach me, if I am open to that.

I am indescribably grateful for the instant oasis of short moments, beloved Candice, my beautiful trainer, a global community of inspiring friends, and so many talks and written media available to me that I could not watch or read it all in one lifetime. I have the joy of discovering, with tender appreciation, everything I already have when the constant focus on wanting more, better, different data streams is relaxed and outshone like sunlight filling space. This is the most humbling and unexpected gift I could have ever been given, and it just keeps giving in each short moment of recognizing what actually is.

Relaxation and power at university

I would like to share this time about the immense shifts I have seen with regards to studying. Two years ago, I took a break from university studies. There were many reasons for the decision, one of them that I felt exhausted from the seeming never-ending efforting and striving to pass the next exam. I also noticed I didn’t have a clear motivation as to what I was doing at university; it just seemed to be what most people were doing and I sort of went along with what I and other people expected of me.

During these two years, my main heart-focus and priority in life has been to immerse myself in the Four Mainstays lifestyle of Balanced View: I have travelled to the Centers in Sweden, India and the US, I have passionately been involved in service to Balanced View, in my local community and I have deepened the relationship with my personal Balanced View-trainer.

Returning to university, wow, the shift is huge. For one, there is no more vagueness about what I am doing there: through the relationship with the trainer and the natural clarity that comes about through relying on open intelligence, it has been a carefully, lovingly considered decision of what will bring most benefit to me and to all. It isn’t anymore a “me-project” focused on achieving some self identity and repeatedly having to prove myself as worthy and intelligent, like it used to be. There is so much light-heartedness, natural curiosity and ease, paired with clarity and power in all the listening, reading and writing. I am so very much more efficient and powerful when there is not the constant commentary of “Oh, didn’t have time for that yet” or “How will I ever manage all of this”, instead I naturally and spontaneously go to solutions and action.

The term “rest and get busy” has become my experience over these last weeks, and wow, I am so grateful for this. I also see I have learned so much from service in Balanced View. Many times when taking on a new service role and learning something new, I may have felt overwhelmed, resistant and bored, but the wish to contribute and the framework of relaxation has supported me to continue on and these data streams have opened wide up. Now when I face them at university, they don’t hold the same power at all. I see I can take with me my motivation to benefit all in every circumstance and activity, be it in service or at university, and this makes studying so much more cheerful and relaxed.

Amazing Support

The Four Mainstays of Balanced View are truly a wonder of trust and amazing support!!! To have a Trainer and a Root Trainer, Training, Media, and a Community that give me the most profound guidance and trust in my day to day life is the most precious gift of gifts!!. I used to have difficulties in relating to others, to be close and present when I met my children, wife and people. Today I have the most open and warm loving relations to all, and my relationship to my family is so wonderful and filled with pure love!!! With the support of the Four Mainstays I can leave all my thoughts and emotions as they are and be more close to what I truly am, and this is such a marvellous gift!!!

I also used to suffer very much from Rheumatism sins nearly 30 years. By the support of The Four Mainstays and resting continuously with all the pain and feelings of being a victim of this, I am so much better in my body, and today I almost never thinking of my bodily condition at all.
Love Per

 

Unimaginable Blessings

 

It is almost impossible to believe how well this training works.

I remember early on helping to put up Balanced View posters in my hometown, posters which included the statement ‘complete mental and emotional stability.’ Reading these words at the time, I was concerned that the claim was too audacious and that no one reading would consider the offering as valid.

At the time, my own perspective on these words took them to represent perhaps a bold stand and willingness to take a positive outlook. But also somehow, and I have no idea why I felt/knew/sensed this, I did believe in the magic these words offered. I use the word magic because to get from the reality I lived then to the world these words offered was going to take something like a miracle.

I am so amazingly grateful for the feeling/knowing/sense that left me open to commit fully to this training.

Six years later I am authentically living very, very, remarkably close to complete mental and emotional stability.  The amount of trust I have that everything is unfolding perfectly and as it should; my daily cheerfulness; how much I adore and love so many things that were previously just taken for granted; how easeful and rich my personal relationships are; how I am able to enjoy the adventure of taking on very challenging undertakings and succeed with ease; frankly, it’s breath taking. This life is nothing short of a miracle.

If there is any frustration at all it is that many, many more people (really everyone and anyone), haven’t also taken on this radical and completely alternate way of living.  Unfortunately, at this point in our current world culture, ‘complete emotional and mental stability’ is a giant leap of the imagination. But I know that as more of us make this reality the fabric of our very own lives, it will become more and more plausible for others.