Last week I was talking with a friend who has been everywhere and done everything.
I came out of it feeling drained and really boring, like there was
absolutely nothing about me that was interesting, like I had nothing
to contribute to anyone.
My first wish was for these feelings to change so that I would be more
comfortable and at peace with myself again, feel some kind of
Then I remembered the kindness of short moments!
Short moments never get old and I love to experiment with them.
I saw again that it was ok to feel exactly the way I was feeling, and I
thought of how many people feel like this every single day: like they
have to be better, to compete, to be really interesting and clever,
to have amazing lives, to do so much, to be charismatic, to always
have an interesting opinion about everything, to save the world, to
be admired, approved and self-confident, to be validated by the
admiration they receive.
I am not so interested in that anymore because I prefer the gift of being
always comfortably myself and not seeking satisfaction from people or
experiences, and that is one of the things that Balanced View supports me with.
It’s so powerful and soothing to feel completely boring, useless and
stupid and to not try to change that. I find deep, indestructible
self-respect within that.
The ultimate self-love I find in short moments is that I don’t need to
prove to anyone (not even to myself) that I am a great person.
To be just as I am, openly listening and responding, is very relaxing and humble, no fixed identity, box or label to say I am like this or like
that, just able to meet people as they are with less and less
self-referencing. Thank you so much! 🙂