Before I met the Balanced View Teaching, I had a history of wrecking relationships due to being overwhelmed by the strong emotions of jealousy and envy.
I once threw my best friend out my house in a fit of jealous rage because she seemed to want to spend more time with another friend.
In intimate relationship, there was always one woman I was sure my partner was attracted to. I would obsess over this woman, comparing myself to her, analysing every interaction between her and my partner, always coming to the conclusion that she was far superior to me, and my partner was going to leave me for her. I would collapse into states of worthlessness and misery. Especially I would do this in public places like at parties where my partner and the woman were. This brought a great deal of suffering and disharmony to the relationships and always resulted in them coming to an end.
In addition, there was also the jealousy of female friends for their gifts, strengths and talents. I had such negative thoughts and belief systems about my own capacity, I always felt other women were better than me and I would often try to replace the data of worthlessness by competing with them and saying things to put them down and make myself seem better. This made friendships with women difficult and sometimes impossible. I could never understand why.
The Balanced View Training introduced me to open intelligence, the most powerful force of intelligence, benefit, clarity and love which unites us all. I completed the fundamental training called the Twelve Empowerments. This training empowered me to see how and why I was causing all this disharmony in my relationships. Just through following the simple steps of the training with the support of amazing trainers, I was supported to relax with the strong emotions of jealousy and envy and to let them flow on by. I was empowered to recognise open intelligence.
Overtime, with the incredible support of the Four Mainstays empowerment network (short moments, trainer, training and community), I have come to see that the data of worthlessness, which I so desperately wanted to avoid because it didn’t feel safe to be worthless, is open intelligence and is actually my power to be of great benefit to all.
The Balanced View Training has taught me to rest mind naturally for short moments whenever I remember. When data of worthlessness arise, which can come up in any interaction, rather than getting lost in jealous/hateful/miserable stories about myself and others and acting from this, I can take a short moment of open intelligence, just resting naturally and let worthlessness be as it is.
I experience the most incredible results from this practice. I experience such a powerful depth of compassion for myself and for others, understanding completely the reasons why we cause suffering. This has gifted me such capacity to love myself and others, just as we are, and to relate with an open and loving heart even when feeling completely worthless in relationship with another.
Stability, relaxation and happiness is now my every day experience, and just naturally being this way contributes so much benefit to all my relationships, and to any circumstance. I have beautiful relationships with my family and friends. It is just so wonderful to see how easy it has become to relate with people, each interaction an opportunity to share love and to support each other to shine. Intimacy has become much easier and enjoyable because I no longer believe there is something wrong with me and so I can be open, perfect as I am, enjoying the closeness that comes about with myself and others, the trust that builds and the beautiful capacity to contribute to each other, seeing more and more how I can be of benefit to myself and those I love.
I am so grateful to Candice O’Denver, the founder of Balanced View for offering this Teaching, and to all the trainers and participants who support me along the way. Just from continuing with the practise of short moments and the support of the Four Mainstays, life and relationships blossom in the most beautiful, powerful way.
A gift for all beings!
With great love,