Relaxed Self-Care One Moment at a Time

For as long as I can remember I had the belief that looking after myself was a waste of time and focus and that it was rather selfish.
When an acute illness became chronic my beliefs about self-care didn’t change, and for many years I really struggled to look after myself and to feel worthy of care and fulfillment in that circumstance.

When I found the Balanced View training I was not convinced at all that being gentle with myself was a clever approach. Surely I had to beat this and push myself in every possible way in order to be a worthwhile person.
I could not even see that that approach had never worked and had participated in making the illness much worse.
It took me a few years to be bold enough to test out what it feels like to really relax and rest, to learn what it means to be truly kind to myself while facing everything that comes up fully.
The support of the Four Mainstays has been priceless in that.

As I started to see my belief systems around self-care more clearly, I also started to see that I am much more efficient, stable, kind and fulfilled when I know what my needs are and how to meet them in a responsive, clear and mature way.
I love learning to parent myself in this way and I can really say I started from the beginning.

For me it took a lot of humility to see that I needed role models in kindness and gentleness, and it also challenged my ideas about what resting means.
I love that I can take one short moment of complete rest at any time, in any situation, whether I am bed-bound or having a day where things are easier.
To know that I can rest all ideas, feelings, descriptions and speculations is an immense treasure every day.

Sometimes self-care looks like a nap, or joining a Clarity Call, writing to my trainer, listening to a talk, reading the beautiful texts, sometimes it looks like a moment of quiet reflection, or looking at my plants, sometimes it looks like eating nourishing food or talking to a friend, sometimes it is creating something.
In the training I was not given a recipe book for how to take care of myself, but empowered to see in each moment what is needed, and empowered to not be afraid of the data that is constantly changing in such a random way.
Instead of focusing on how I feel and how I want to change that, the focus naturally started to be on solutions in a fluid way which amazes me every day.

I never thought I would say that I know exactly how to care for myself now. That confidence is very valuable, because the illness is still a large part of my circumstances, and instead of resisting it and trying to become who I wish I was, I am able to care for the person that I am right now without pretense and with much less victimhood.

I am very grateful for that and it frees up some space for finding things that I can do with great joy and without harming myself.

Thank you so much for this easeful relationship with myself which really makes a difference in how I relate to everyone. Gaelle

A Life of Increasing Benefit

I wish to share of the heart-warming experience of resting with afflictive thoughts and emotions (we call these data to make it simple).

As of the age of 9 years old I can recall thoughts of not being loving enough, of not being good enough, of believing that there is something fundamentally wrong with me, no matter what I did, wherever I went, these were just around the corner. Funny enough, I recall once flying abroad for the first time, and I was amazed to see that these were packed for the journey with me. Believing in this data was not funny at all, it brought great hardship, and endless work to prove otherwise, and no matter what, they came back again and again. The tactic I knew at the time was to blame myself and to try and do good in the world. There was no ease, no tranquility, no stability – doing good gave a momentary relief, only till the next time. It was endless – and weird enough, it seemed like a normal life of everyone having their own share.

At the age of 31 years old I began seeking, there was some relief in various techniques and meditations, and when seemingly strong data came up, there was no ease at sight. I was traveling in India at the time, and was very fortunate to have received seven talks of Candice O’Denver, I began listening to them and I heard something that felt so good and true, something that I never before heard, an unerring message with great conviction. Looking back, I received a treasure that would be the opening to a life of increasing ease and benefit to myself and others – the doorway to self-kept freedom, it was that I always wished for, the real deal, the real deal.

I wish to thank from depths of my heart to Candice O’Denver, the founder of Balanced View, who dedicates her life to inexhaustibly benefit beings, to the Balanced View Trainers who dedicate their lives to support participants and to the world wide community of brave beings.

Living up to our potential as a human society

Hello dear people,

I want to share my gratitude to all the people who are taking
part in Balanced View. It is amazing that this entire worldwide organization is based almost entirely on volunteers, and more amazing is the high quality and standards in which things are done. It is amazing to see how everything is being done in an effective and caring manner when the disposition of everyone is to be of benefit to all. More amazing, is to see the “benefit of all” in action when people are relying on open intelligence. What I see is people who are solution oriented, respectful, caring and responsible, and it is really happening in a grounded way. Not in a funny way where you are sure people are going to explode because they are trying to put on a happy face.. I mean, it is amazing – there is so much volunteer work to run the organization, international training centers, local communities, projects, etc., and people are really empowered to cooperate in a respective caring and responsible way for the benefit of all. I see it in my own experience and I love working with other people who rely on open intelligence! It is so amazing! And I see it all around me – people are thriving in their gifts and talents, contributing generously
and enjoying harmonious and empowering relationships. This is the kind of society I have always wished for and it is amazing to see it in action.

It is such a pleasure and honor to share my life with so many other people who rely on open intelligence, and I want to thank everyone for
demonstrating in this way how we as human society can live up to our potential of a healthy, prosperous and empowering society.

Amit Harpaz

Israel

Not knowing

Clearly I appear to have made some alterations after coming to Balanced View, as before I was often in a state of not knowing, needing to know, irritable searching, not getting there, blanking out, trying this and trying that.

Coming to Balanced View is the opposite of struggle and I have experienced a direct change in my life where I now just let all be as it is, letting go, allowing, no matter what trouble arises, feeling I could never go back where I was before.

I also realise how social change can come about without words just by contact with someone who lives as open intelligence. It makes me understand how far indeed one travels when one understands the nature of mind.

Margaret