Family Harmony

I am so lucky that my whole family relies on the Balanced View Training’s empowerment network, the Four Mainstays. Both of my adult sons, and my late husband for the last two years of his life, have taken the Twelve Empowerment’s and have fully engaged in the Four Mainstays for the last six years. We are a very close and loving family that have always got along so well but for most of my marriage and during my sons’ upbringing, we had frequent and strong explosions of angry relating and shouting matches.

This is entirely gone.

For me, there is no stronger or more obvious demonstration of this training than this. Something profoundly shifted within a group of people, several people, not just one (or even two); and for the change to be so complete and obvious is truly miraculous.

By saying it’s entirely gone I don’t mean that we do anything to keep anger contained or ‘behave ourselves better.’ In fact we are more spontaneous, communicative, direct, self-respecting than ever. Simply there is no impetus toward anger. It is entirely gone — like a line drawn in water, like the flight path of a bird, like a finger cut off — gone. Self-released.

By relying on the Four Mainstays when anger arises, through short moments, through the relationship with the trainer and relying on training media; and by fully relying on the Four Mainstays algorithm in daily life, our relationships and the family relationship as a whole, has become harmonized. It didn’t happen overnight, but slowly and surely anger and hatred became outshone like the morning sun outshining the planets and stars of night.

Victimization, blame and trying to change others is no longer the modus operandi. Instead we all know how to take responsibility for ourselves and be respectful in a way that is not contrived, insincere, or long-suffering but rather simply derived from an understanding of the reality of the situation.

Before the training I often heard the instruction to  ‘take complete responsibility for myself’ or what sounded like a romantic ideal of offering ‘unconditional love.’ I struggled with these concepts in vain. Now those are my easy everyday reality.

I love my family very much. I always have but now I am so able to see more clearly the precious, perfect sweetness and goodness in each of my loved ones. What a relief it is that after a lifetime of efforting to love it’s now easy.

Connection with all beings

It’s beautiful to reflect on how life was before I met the Balanced View Training, and to so deeply appreciate how life is now.

I have just spent two weeks working away from my friends and family. I remember when I first did this type of work many years ago, I was so overwhelmed by the data of loneliness and anxiety. My data streams (thoughts, emotions and sensations) were so intense that I was completely consumed by them and the attempt to relieve myself of the anxiety, that it was difficult to connect with the person I was supposed to be looking after, and I gave up doing this work for quite some time.

In my everyday life, I was always looking for a romantic solution to loneliness and looking for people I could truly connect with. But the truth was, here again, that I could not easily connect with others because all my attention was on my data and a desperate search for relief.

It’s magical to think to how it used to be and wonder when exactly did I start feeling completely connected to all beings everywhere, with nothing more needed? It was definitely after I received the introduction to open intelligence and the Four Mainstays of Balanced View. This sense of complete connection and contentment is so normal for me now, it’s just amazing. I am so at ease, being just by myself and with others.

I see I am so much more loving of myself and others. I can enjoy other people and all beings (I have a cat snuggled next to me) and I don’t feel like I have to go anywhere else, do anything else or be with anyone else to feel okay. I find this very powerful because it means I can do what I see is of most benefit, rather than clinging to certain data so that I feel loved or avoiding circumstances, such as a job that is currently providing me with the money I need to do what I love, because I feel lonely or anxious.

I also see how powerful this is for humanity. This sense of connection with everyone I meet naturally moves me to treat everyone with the greatest respect, care and love. It’s the most beautiful gift to really want the best for everyone and to experience true compassion, simply by remaining open and recognising all data as beneficial open intelligence, one short moment at a time.

I am so deeply grateful to Candice O’Denver for providing the Balanced View Teaching in such a simple, accessible way and for the always-on support network of the Four Mainstays. Life continues to get easier, more loving, more generous and more powerful for the benefit of all. It’s my heart wish for everyone to know this connection and love, for ourselves and each other. What a beautiful world it can be 💞

What Short Moments Gave Me

It’s always really nice for me to reflect on the gift of short moments.
When I found the Balanced View Training I was struggling with all sorts of things and they seemed of great importance to me.
I was often trying to tweak and improve things about myself, my life and other people, and often frustrated with all the effort it took, often disheartened when it did not go as well as planned and I had to find yet another strategy to deal with everything.
I was coping with my circumstances well enough but I felt that something was missing, and it was quite difficult for me to know what my role in life was, due to being very ill and unable to do most of the things I had been enjoying before.
I felt like an obsolete part of society and as if I had become transparent, most things and people out of reach.
I wanted to change my life and I was convinced that I would not be able to contribute to humanity until I had changed certain things about myself.
Now it’s quite fun five years later to see that the exact same circumstances are no longer afflictive, even if they have not changed.
I no longer seek to change them at all cost, to eradicate them or to pursue different ones.
That is one of the significant gifts of short moments: being at peace with my circumstances, even if they are not my preference, and being at ease with everything that they bring up for me.
Being at ease with how I am, even what I don’t like about myself, even when I feel I said or did the “wrong” thing or when I feel complete despair about my situation. That’s allowed, that’s normal, and it’s no longer gripping. It’s so lovely to no longer be afraid of myself, of what I think and feel.
Being at ease with asking for clear support so that I am truly empowered to take the best care and to do my very best—without any effort.
I have no energy to spare so I really appreciate that short moments take no effort whatsoever.
Resting naturally, relaxing the mind completely, relaxing my ideas about everything and everyone, what a break and what a gift, and I can repeat it as much as I need to. That gives me more focus on the really important things in life!
My mum tells me I am less impulsive, less sorry for myself, and she’s very pleased about it. It’s awesome for me to know that my parents and loved ones no longer need to worry about me because I respond to life in a more mature and peaceful way.
I am more easygoing, flexible and cheerful, not taking people hostage of my moods.
If things don’t go the way I want, it is not such a big deal, and I always, always have the gift of short moments: immediately available, immediately clarifying, instantly opening and expansive, complete self-care on the spot, complete care and respect of others right now. Taking a short moment is always my choice and I am so grateful to be supported in that.

How the Balanced View Training has supported me in my musicianship

I have been playing and studying guitar since I was ten years old. Performing and playing in front of people has always been a part of my musicianship and before I met this teaching there was a lot of thoughts and emotions that I didn’t really know how to handle. Nervousness, creating a personal voice and image, what do people think of me on stage, I am not allowed to fail or play what I think is considered as wrong etc. Maybe you can relate to this in an area in your own life?

So, I remembered when I already did my first Balanced View training, I realised that I could simply relax with all these ideas and concepts I thought I had to keep myself struggling with. I saw that nothing of this is necessary for me to play and enjoy the music I wanted. In fact, the less I put emphasis on these ideas and concepts and simply enjoyed short moments of complete relaxation, repeated many times, the more an effortless approach naturally came about. This was for me magical and something I had been looking for all along!

One other quick thing that I want to share that when I met the teaching I was struggling with the thought of “now when I have been playing music and practicing guitar for a good ten years and reached to the point of where I am today, I can’t just stop playing. Then all of this practicing and level of achievement would be lost. I have to keep up, otherwise, I will be a total failure”. This way of relating to myself was harmful and like putting myself in a mental prison.

The solution: By showing up for training with the community on a regular basis and especially taking support from my trainer and allowing short moments shining forth in everyday life with an easy-going attitude, one day when I reflected on this behaviour, I realised that it had loosened its grip that I thought I had on me. This did not happen over a night, but surely one day I was suddenly free to choose “do I want to continue to play or not?” That feeling of freedom means everything to me and now I really enjoy playing music! What a wondrous marvel!

With much love and gratitude, Johan

Beyond shame and blame

When I met Candice and the Balanced View Teaching I was still a seeker after being a follower of Osho for many years. Born in a family committed to the Free Church where my father was an evangelist preaching the Gospel there was strong faith from the beginning but no real peace. There was ongoing conflicting emotions like shameful, unworthy, not doing my best, not good enough, a saint, a sinner.

When I was 15 I fell in love with a boy who was not part of our church and I got a child. The congregation throw me out and my parents became hostile towards one another. They took different sides in the matter. I left home and everyone I knew went out of my life. No friends had permission to be with me. They could be infected by the demons living in me.
In my solitude the presence of something sustaining me was strong and my communication was more with Jesus and the holy spirit than with people. I was convinced that my lovely daughter was a gift from heaven. We were like twin sisters, and still are. My parents regarded her as their jewel after some time.

After being educated in the nature of mind in Balanced View we are both “finders”, no more seekers! With the introduction to Open Intelligence, the pith instructions from Beloved Candice and the teaching and support system of Balanced View all my relationships were harmonized. I found that it was all about harmonizing data streams, letting everything be as it is.

These last months I have been singing in a choir in church and today I can see the light even in the eyes of those who blamed me before. I hold nothing against them anymore. The belief system they have is only the dynamic energy of open intelligence and doesn’t harm me anymore. They are like everyone believing in contrived systems of good and bad, right and wrong, confused because they know nothing about freedom in immediate perception and the embrace of this moment, as it is.

From disappointed and feeling separate, I am now inclusive and lighthearted. The response I get form others is the same. It is a miracle I can live this way, knowing the truth, not separating anything out. Living as gratitude forevermore.

Meeting the arrogance in me trying to get rid of it, avoiding it, replacing it with some nice approach have faded away. Everything and everyone subsumed in perfect love. All is included. We are all in it together, birthing, living, dying.

Without pain, struggle and exclusion in the past I would not have found Balanced View. It was out of desperation I turned every stone available. And there it was! Bright and clear! I am thankful for everything in the past, for this right now and for what the future brings. I feel graced by the universe to live in this time, having found this teaching and for the privilege of having so many in my family introduced to short moments of open intelligence. Everything goes bright! Nothing to worry about, not even death. I am deeply grateful, living as openness for the benefit of all in every aspect of my life. Truly the most precious gift! Thank you, Beloved Candice!
In love,

Letting the restless mind relax

I realise that I have a tendency to want to have intellectual or practical proof of the way things work and will often dispute my own senses and my own intuitive grasp.

Recently my response to a Clarity Call was to say ‘but how could all the great works of mankind be achieved by simply relaxing and making no effort?” Which was complicating a very simple premise that when we stop pushing too hard and and just let go for a short moment things very often resolve themselves and become clearer. I recall reading that Einstein often had his best breakthroughs when ceasing the mental turmoil and going to sit in the mountains to reflect quietly.

The Balanced View trainer’s reply to my puzzlement was to say “the training is so beautifully simple: we either recognise open intelligence in each moment or we do not. ‘Figure it out’ is not an instruction” which was a clarification for me and for which I am so grateful because it illustrated the value of trusting open intelligence and stopping the complexity. He further added “whenever you’re in an intellectual bind just relax, there will never be a satisfactory answer because the nature of reality can never be understood, only experienced.”

It was this sense of gratitude to him which lead to a breakthrough in my realisation and which gave birth to the following poem which instructs me to stop intellectualising and by relaxing truly experience Open Intelligence.

Love Margaret

Who you really are

How can you reason love,
the wetness of water
the blueness of sky
the arc of the butterfly?

How reason the redness of rose
the sigh of the breeze,
the throb of earth’s deep core,
the mysterious patterns on the shore?

How reason mind, soul, heart
or intellectualise the finest art?
In time they’ll reason every single star
without ever ‘knowing’ who you are.

A Peaceful Solution

On many occasions in life I’ve heard that handling violence with violence is useless – it echoed within with logic and a sense of truthfulness, yet looking back I can frankly say that there was lacking a clear personal experience of this.

I want to share an experience from the last summer gathering in Sweden, it was the last day of the gathering, the formal training was over, a sense of easefulness was is in the air, the next day I’m about to fly back; it is dinner time and I’m in the dinning hall, all seems peaceful, I’m queuing to get food, it seems to me that a participant waiting near me is not queuing – though am not sure about it – shall I yield? I’m standing my ground, data of anger towards the participant arise; I sit down, data of self-violence arise “I shouldn’t have felt angry” etc’ – dinner was over – reification not. I stepped out the dining hall, remembering the perfect words of my teacher on violence from the previous days, it then dawned on me so vividly the utter uselessness of this self-flagellation “Of-course, how on earth can violence stop violence!” – it was a moment of rest and deep self intimacy, the eyes watering, feeling O.K. with what is – truly feeling O.K. and cheerful.

If this, so called, negative data hadn’t risen, the lesson would have been missed.

This magical moment will stay with me as a reminder.

I wish to thank Candice O’Denver, the founder of Balanced View, for the endless love and support for all, the Balanced View trainers that dedicate their lives and energy to support the participants and to the brave world-wide community taking part in this life-changing training.

The Profundity of Letting Everything Be As It Is

I reflected recently about why this training is so profound for me, why I am so hooked to it even though depression, sadness, self criticism and other negative data are still part of my life. I realize that it is exactly this facing of the negative data, without trying to avoid it, which attracts me so much. I see in this the real fearlessness I was always wanting, as I know that even though I wish life to be all positive, really there is no way to control thoughts and emotion, or life situations in general. I am saying that because I tried to control them for very long time, and I was never able to do that, and always after “good periods” there always came “negative” times.

Actually I never really believed any training or anyone who told me they are happy all the time, there is simply something contrived about it. So I love the total relief from this effort to be happy or positive, and the relaxation in everything as it is.

I am really marveled again and again by the profundity of letting everything be as it is without avoiding, replacing or trying to change it. I mean, I still prefer to be happy and positive, but what I see more and more that it is actually the outshining of hope and fear that I want the most. So I am grateful to the Four Mainstays for being a real stable and reliable support system as I go through outshining of all these data stream.

I love knowing in my own experience what “empowerment” means, what “stability in all circumstances” means, what “well-being” means, “harmonization of relationship” and so many other of the benefits the training promise. It is simply a marvel to see these benefits truly come about in my own life and in the life of my community friends, and I am so grateful to Balanced View for providing the Four Mainstays lifestyle and all the tools and the support needed for extracting all the benefits of this training.

How I found love and passion for work, through the Balanced View Training

I have spend many years trying to find “what I love to do”, “what I am passionate about”.

However, even when I had my dream job I felt that something is missing. No matter what I did it felt like it was never good enough. Like there might be something better.

So I was hopping around endlessly trying to find “my passion”.

However through this practice it became obvious that it is completely impossible to find lasting life satisfaction by having a certain job description. No matter how good, or bad a job might be in alignment with my preferences, it can never even give a tiny bit of joy.

All joy comes from “letting everything be as it is” and all suffering comes from trying to control experiences.

I have felt complete joy and cheerfulness in jobs and situations that were completely out of control negative on a descriptive level, through the support of this practice.

Overtime it became obvious that I am the love, that I was looking for in a certain job, place or person.

This is an indescribable gift and relief. I have found fulfilment and a sense of completeness through Balanced View‘s Four Mainstays empowerment network, that I know now is impossible to find through the attainment of statuses and job descriptions. Now everything can sparkle with joy, love and wonder.

I am forever grateful for all the guidance and support I receive from the Four Mainstays.

With love,

True Friendship

I have only ever participated in the Balanced View Training online.
So naturally, people can be skeptical that my Balanced View friends are “real” friends.
Should I not be a bit more suspicious and exercise more caution?

This prompted me to reflect on what friendship means to me, what it depends on.

What is a real friend?

To me a friend is a person who supports me to be my best, exemplifies compassion and respect in relating, grounded in gratitude and openness, contributing to making the world a nicer place to be in.

The fact that such persons are seen with suspicion, even cynicism, is a sign that the world we live in is pretty sad, and of how rare it is to be supported in being our best.

Therefore, I do treasure my training friends, even if I have never met them in person, and I might never meet them, because my quality of life and relating has been upgraded to what being truly kind, beneficial and openhearted means to me.

At the same time, instead of encouraging me to be just with them, those friends fully support me to be even more inclusive, to deeply enjoy and respect everyone I meet, giving everyone a chance for me to get to know them before I judge, so that in turn I can be a real friend, supporting those I know and love to be their best, to be comfortable just as they are.

My training friends support me by example, not by telling me what to do. I don’t like being told what to do, but I am always inspired by people who behave in a way that I admire, and I naturally imbibe that, because it is how we are born, it is easy to reactivate.
Babies have no ideas and opinions, they are taught what to learn and how to behave over time, so it is our natural state to be free from opinions, and it’s possible to go back to that, such a pure freedom, real joy and empowerment.

I can say with complete assurance that this is much a happier way for me to be than the way I used to be, so desperately arrogant, opinionated, paranoid and judgemental, and ultimately not trusting myself, not able to care properly for myself, feeling quite alone most of the time and not fully enjoying life due to constant fears and anxiety, constant tension and criticism. What a drag! Never again.

It is a matter of choice, what mountain do I want to climb, how do I want to show up in the world, what is most important to me?

I love being comfortable just as I am! I love it, I love to take care of myself with total respect and discernment, I love to meet people with more and more openness and fun. I am deeply grateful each and every day for the treasures that I receive in this training and for my loving friends. Gaelle