Becoming stable, loving and happy :)

Before I met the Balanced View Teaching, I had a history of wrecking relationships due to being overwhelmed by the strong emotions of jealousy and envy.

I once threw my best friend out my house in a fit of jealous rage because she seemed to want to spend more time with another friend.

In intimate relationship, there was always one woman I was sure my partner was attracted to. I would obsess over this woman, comparing myself to her, analysing every interaction between her and my partner, always coming to the conclusion that she was far superior to me, and my partner was going to leave me for her. I would collapse into states of worthlessness and misery. Especially I would do this in public places like at parties where my partner and the woman were. This brought a great deal of suffering and disharmony to the relationships and always resulted in them coming to an end.

In addition, there was also the jealousy of female friends for their gifts, strengths and talents. I had such negative thoughts and belief systems about my own capacity, I always felt other women were better than me and I would often try to replace the data of worthlessness by competing with them and saying things to put them down and make myself seem better. This made friendships with women difficult and sometimes impossible. I could never understand why.

The Balanced View Training introduced me to open intelligence, the most powerful force of intelligence, benefit, clarity and love which unites us all. I completed the fundamental training called the Twelve Empowerments. This training empowered me to see how and why I was causing all this disharmony in my relationships. Just through following the simple steps of the training with the support of amazing trainers, I was supported to relax with the strong emotions of jealousy and envy and to let them flow on by. I was empowered to recognise open intelligence.

Overtime, with the incredible support of the Four Mainstays empowerment network (short moments, trainer, training and community), I have come to see that the data of worthlessness, which I so desperately wanted to avoid because it didn’t feel safe to be worthless, is open intelligence and is actually my power to be of great benefit to all.

The Balanced View Training has taught me to rest mind naturally for short moments whenever I remember. When data of worthlessness arise, which can come up in any interaction, rather than getting lost in jealous/hateful/miserable stories about myself and others and acting from this, I can take a short moment of open intelligence, just resting naturally and let worthlessness be as it is.

I experience the most incredible results from this practice. I experience such a powerful depth of compassion for myself and for others, understanding completely the reasons why we cause suffering. This has gifted me such capacity to love myself and others, just as we are, and to relate with an open and loving heart even when feeling completely worthless in relationship with another.

Stability, relaxation and happiness is now my every day experience, and just naturally being this way contributes so much benefit to all my relationships, and to any circumstance. I have beautiful relationships with my family and friends. It is just so wonderful to see how easy it has become to relate with people, each interaction an opportunity to share love and to support each other to shine. Intimacy has become much easier and enjoyable because I no longer believe there is something wrong with me and so I can be open, perfect as I am, enjoying the closeness that comes about with myself and others, the trust that builds and the beautiful capacity to contribute to each other, seeing more and more how I can be of benefit to myself and those I love.

I am so grateful to Candice O’Denver, the founder of Balanced View for offering this Teaching, and to all the trainers and participants who support me along the way. Just from continuing with the practise of short moments and the support of the Four Mainstays, life and relationships blossom in the most beautiful, powerful way.
A gift for all beings!

With great love,
Jess

The Harmony I always Wanted

In the Balanced View Training I have learned profoundly life-changing and essential skills to have easeful relationships and to live my daily life in the way that I always wanted.

From being very young, the most important thing to me was harmony, but I did not know how to bring it about.
For most of my life I thought that talking about emotional states was the best way to have harmony in all relationships, and it was so sad and frustrating to see that it never really worked.

Now more and more it is easier to see that talking about data is not helpful. Instead, to rely on the short moments which are always here and so easily accessible is really potent and incredibly dignified.
I love it! I am so grateful that I can choose this dignity and respect more and more often. To be supported in that is so precious to me and I never take it for granted.
 
I love that everything in the Teaching points to the gentleness of one step at a time, and that it is always possible to rely on natural care and perfect love, that it is always possible to make amends and relax right here no matter what we have said and done up until now. That has been so powerful to me, and crucial in harmonising the relationship to myself, and as a result it has transformed all my relationships.
 
To see that I never need to be attached to the comments, judgements, opinions and ideas that stream is a complete blessing and makes everything so much kinder and dynamically fun, truly beneficial without any effort.
Thank you with all my heart. Gaelle

Invest in a peaceful society

The other week when I was going with the bus and queuing before me in line there were two kind teenager boys about to buy a ticket. It turned out that they didn’t have money topped up on their card. One was going to buy a double ticket for both of them, so kind! However the bus driver told them to get off. I stopped them and told them that I will buy their ticket, no doubt about it! I asked the bus driver if I could use my bus card to buy a double for them. It turned out that I could not.

– Ok, then I will use my credit card.

– It will be expensive.

– It doesn’t matter for me. I want to buy their tickets 🙂

– There is an extra fee of 10SEK per ticket.

– That’s sounds great!

It was almost like I was not allowed to buy their tickets. When the bus driver started to run the ticket machine it didn’t work for some reason so they could pass for free so it turned out to work well at the end. They thanked me with such a beautiful respect and a man after me followed me and took the seat next to me and said that it was a generous act of me and he wanted to chit chat on the way home.

It wasn’t for any other reason than I was simply thrilled to help and support. I invested the money in an act of generosity, actively and spontaneously chose to live a life with an attitude of gratitude for the benefit of all. It think this is completely awesome! What a game changer for me! Shifting the focus from wanting, earning and keeping money, to rather use the financial means to invest in a peaceful society.

This is completely thanks to the Balanced View Training and to dearest Candice. To dare to take this step of just going for it and naturally it happened without any particular thoughts around it. It felt good!

Like A Sweet Lullaby

From as back as I can remember, one of my challenges in life was dealing with sleep deprivation. Being deprived of sleep felt as a heavy load on the body and mind.

It has been more than ten years since I met the Balanced View teachings and since I have taken comfort in the Four Mainstays, Balanced View’s empowerment network; some 18 months ago I became a parent to a lovely baby that has a hard time sleeping.

I recall the times where we would wake up very early in the morning after waking numerous times at night and not sleeping much throughout the night, taking him early in the morning in the stroller on the gravel paths, awaiting the magical moment when he’ll fall asleep. It was summer time and extremely hot outside, not much shade around – learning to rest naturally was, and still is, such a precious gift at times like these – lacking the support of the Four Mainstays, would have resulted in the known reactive state of mind, which would have made things much harder for us all. The support of the short moments practice has been so very valuable, to the degree that it completely changed the colours of the image of parenthood.

I wish to dearly thank Candice O’Denver the founder of Balanced View, the Balanced View trainers and the worldwide Balanced View community for ongoing hearty support.

Love Gil

Being in the Right Setting

I’ve found through Balanced View that we ‘learn’ to be in the right setting i.e we learn to listen to the free audios, read all the free books, participate in all the current BV activities. I can now choose to set aside all the thousands of tapes and and books and lectures on psychology and meditations etc that I have been part of my life for more than half a century. I have drawers and cupboards full of such things.

I have taught meditation classes for years and have been involved in countless spiritual activities, seen many spiritual teachers who I have followed for years, and now this simple straight forward teaching emerges, I just live more simply, take short moments and relax. This last I have always given lip service to but suddenly I realised what is truly meant.

We have to seize the power of the mind, no hang ups any more, and then one lives without tension and all that arises from short moments. Great! Short moments have helped me immensely. I can now be relaxed instead of being impatient or angry in situations where I would otherwise have “blown my top.” So simple, yet suddenly even though I’ve heard it over and over again I suddenly ‘get it’.

Thank you Candice, thank you all my trainers, thank you Balanced View.

Love, As It Is

For most of my life, it seemed obvious that the goal was to find those handful of special people who “got me”, love and interact only with them, and to hell with anyone else.  As a child, I had one best friend at a time, and a few other second-bests to call on if my bestie wasn’t available.  One by one, those best friends and second-bests drifted away, and the urge to find a special someone who appreciated and knew me inside and out—and would never leave—carried into my adulthood.

After a couple of tumultuous longterm relationships, including a marriage, I decided the other extreme was true: I didn’t want to be in a relationship at all or invest any energy or care into others.  If we drifted, cool.  If we kept hanging out, cool.  It felt freeing after a life of thinking I needed someone else to be complete, though that also missed the real mark.

Then I met my current partner, who I have been with for 7 beautiful years now.  The second or so time we hung out, I remember telling him I didn’t want to be in a relationship with anyone; just wanted to meet people and have fun.  But something about him was unlike anyone I had met.  He really looked me in the eye, he dressed comfortably and confidently, he was relaxed and open in a way I’d never experienced someone be.  Things organically progressed, and a year or so into our relationship, he started sharing videos from Balanced View with me.

Through Balanced View, I was introduced to so many people who had the same radiant, authentic relaxation my partner had.  It was magnetizing, even with initial fears of the unknown.  After joining a number of clarity calls and participating in trainings, I connected with people I knew from those offerings over Facebook and email, experiencing that same open relaxation in them even though we were just exchanging digital letters and images on a screen.  I could honestly say I loved people I had never met in the flesh.

Eventually my partner and I started attending in-person Balanced View gatherings in California and Sweden.  Being with so many relaxed, open-hearted beings in one place was an incredible—sometimes overwhelming in the beginning—experience.  I found and still find myself falling in love again and again with so many amazing friends and mentors who show me what is possible; what it is to be truly themselves without any bullshit or fronts.  A falling in love that is very ordinary where I am not afraid of it fading or ceasing, or that it has to look a certain way.  Seeing that true love subsumes all the ideas I held about it; that it’s already the case between us—as us—as human beings.  Not elusive, or something that only a special few can hold with me like my intimate partner, family members, or friends I see regularly face-to-face.  Wow!

More and more, I find myself feeling love for and connecting with people I don’t conventionally know at all.  Fast food clerks that take my order, someone who I help pick up groceries they dropped on the street, a tourist asking me for directions in my home city..  Sometimes I’m struck at the heart to speak with others and recognize our inherent connection, whatever we’re talking about or however many or few words we exchange.

If who I’m talking to isn’t outwardly pleasant or open, uncontrived compassion is more and more obvious.  Through the incredible encouragement and support from Balanced View over the years to not run away from my own afflictive thoughts and emotions, it isn’t a mystery to me anymore how someone could act out from the data they experience.  I did for the majority of my life, unaware of another option.  If someone is rude or awkward, I’m no longer fooled into thinking there is something fundamentally wrong with them or me, and can more spontaneously see what is helpful and what isn’t in any given situation.

There is something astounding and powerful about speaking openly to another human being with no strings attached on either side. Not needing each other to change in order to feel okay, and everyone taking full responsibility for their own thoughts, emotions, and actions without dumping them absentmindedly onto others.  I get this in spades through my interactions with participants in the Balanced View community, and evermore naturally with anyone in life.

I’m eternally grateful for this opening to love as it actually is.  Thank you all, love you all.

Being worthy of peace and bliss

I thought I was unworthy of experiencing fulfilment, love, happiness and peace until I came across the Balanced View Training. The example of Candice, the trainers and community just made it obvious to me that there is never a reason to not bask in the completeness and wonder of each moment. It is such a miracle that everything I ever looked for is already present and it is just a matter of allowing myself the goodness of completely releasing all effort and contrivance.

Candice just transmits infinite joy, beauty and countless other beneficial qualities and by seeing her example I start to realize that life is completely wonderful, regardless of descriptions I learned.

It is really wonderful beyond words. Such bliss, peace and happiness and deep fulfillment is felt, without any cause. To let myself enjoy this gift completely is the greatest contribution I could ever make.

Forever grateful for the precious transmission of Candice and all who follow her footsteps.

In blissful gratitude,
Julien

Always at Home

Dear friend,
Thank you for taking the time to read this post.
As I write this I am sitting in a street cafe in busy, dirty, noisy night time Delhi, on my way back from two months at the Balanced View Center in Goa. What I wanted to share is the difference I see in how stable and safe I feel in so many different settings. I easily used to feel anxious, unsafe and even afraid when traveling in the East; whenever it got too dirty or exotic I felt somehow threatened and like I couldn’t relax. I remember many sleepless, anxious nights on the road and the contrasting relief that wouldn’t arise until I was safe back in my apartment in Stockholm. This was fine, but I remember wishing that I possessed a stability that wasn’t tied to a place or a person. Now that I am here, upon reflection it is beautiful to see that I can relax and feel at home in this chaotic place. I think it is because more and more I feel at home, content and familiar with my internal data. It’s like I bring home with me wherever I am, home is always what is looking, completely at rest and at ease no matter what appears within or outside. This is so soothing and so freeing! I don’t feel afraid of foreign people or foreign places because I have harmonized the relationship with so many of the thoughts and emotions that I used to take as alien or hostile. Gratitude to the brilliant, custom made support of Balanced View’s empowerment network the Four Mainstays that come with me to all corners of the world, for opening this up and allowing me to realize I am always at home in open intelligence!
Love, Beate

STABLE AND POWERFUL

I am so immensely grateful for the wonderful trust of the Four Mainstays empowerment network of Balanced View.
To have the wonderful tools of short moments in midst of disturbing states, to completely relax and leave every thing as it is, this is so very empowering and soothing!!
Having a Trainer and Root Trainer, Community, and participate in trainings, this is the complete trust and guiding light of light!!! Since I have relied on the Four Mainstays my relationship to my children and wife have become so close and beautiful.
As a father I can see that I can be of great support, which I did not believe I could be before, and it is so much easier to relate in a natural and easeful way with all people!!
My life is so filled with clarity and love, and it is so obvious how stable and powerful I am in my everyday life!!!
With gratitude Per

The Gift of Complete Relaxation

When I met the Balanced View Teaching, I was in my fourth year of learning a bodywork/energy art which was intended to bring about healing through relaxation and balance. I had a three year diploma already, and was offering this service to the public.

It’s amazing to reflect and see clearly how much I could not even enjoy giving this service, as I could not relax with my own data (thoughts, emotions and sensations), let alone help someone else relax with theirs. I was in a constant argument in my mind, because my thoughts were always so negative and my response was to struggle with them, to try to make them positive or make them go away. This resulted in a lot of tension!

The first time I listened to a talk by Candice, the founder of Balanced View, I experienced my first moment of complete relaxation. I remember it so distinctly because it was complete relief for my mind and body. It was what I had been striving to experience, in all the practices, attempts to rest and all the therapy sessions.

When I went to my first Balanced View Open Meeting, I was given the tool of a short moment. I remember this so distinctly also, because for the first time, I was shown what about me is powerful, clear, alert and can always be relied upon.

This experience was so profound, I kept on coming back. After a short amount of time, I gave up the bodywork practice because I could see what I really wanted for myself and others was being offered so completely by the Balanced View Teaching.

Complete relaxation was impossible before receiving education in the nature of mind because no matter what I did to relax, I was always so busy in my mind. The practice of the Balanced View Teaching has shown me deeply and profoundly that I can let all my data be as it is, no matter how wrong it might seem. I’ve been shown undoubtedly that everything I experience is open intelligence, my power to benefit all.

Seven years later, I can face all circumstances, I can enjoy everything about life, I can contribute benefit no matter what I am experiencing because I can relax and let the beneficial energy of data self-release and empower my qualities and activities. All I need to do is completely relax for a short moment. A short moment of knowing that everything I experience is open intelligence.

It is the greatest blessing, the most wonderful way to live life, giving so much in all ways we wish for as human beings. I cannot thank Candice and Balanced View enough. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

With great love, Jess