I am so lucky that my whole family relies on the Balanced View Training’s empowerment network, the Four Mainstays. Both of my adult sons, and my late husband for the last two years of his life, have taken the Twelve Empowerment’s and have fully engaged in the Four Mainstays for the last six years. We are a very close and loving family that have always got along so well but for most of my marriage and during my sons’ upbringing, we had frequent and strong explosions of angry relating and shouting matches.
This is entirely gone.
For me, there is no stronger or more obvious demonstration of this training than this. Something profoundly shifted within a group of people, several people, not just one (or even two); and for the change to be so complete and obvious is truly miraculous.
By saying it’s entirely gone I don’t mean that we do anything to keep anger contained or ‘behave ourselves better.’ In fact we are more spontaneous, communicative, direct, self-respecting than ever. Simply there is no impetus toward anger. It is entirely gone — like a line drawn in water, like the flight path of a bird, like a finger cut off — gone. Self-released.
By relying on the Four Mainstays when anger arises, through short moments, through the relationship with the trainer and relying on training media; and by fully relying on the Four Mainstays algorithm in daily life, our relationships and the family relationship as a whole, has become harmonized. It didn’t happen overnight, but slowly and surely anger and hatred became outshone like the morning sun outshining the planets and stars of night.
Victimization, blame and trying to change others is no longer the modus operandi. Instead we all know how to take responsibility for ourselves and be respectful in a way that is not contrived, insincere, or long-suffering but rather simply derived from an understanding of the reality of the situation.
Before the training I often heard the instruction to ‘take complete responsibility for myself’ or what sounded like a romantic ideal of offering ‘unconditional love.’ I struggled with these concepts in vain. Now those are my easy everyday reality.
I love my family very much. I always have but now I am so able to see more clearly the precious, perfect sweetness and goodness in each of my loved ones. What a relief it is that after a lifetime of efforting to love it’s now easy.