At Peace

For me the most challenging topic in life has always been relationships.

In the Balanced View Training I was powerfully shown how the most important relationship to clarify is the relationship to myself.

Thanks to this simple understanding and constant support from the Four Mainstays over the years, I now see how many behaviours I really did not like in myself have relaxed and opened up.

For example, before meeting the education in the nature of mind offered by Balanced View, my default setting was to consistently find someone or something to blame if things did not go my way.

I would spend a lot of time and energy trying to work out why certain things turned out the way they did, and how I could bring about a change.

I am a bit ashamed to say this, but I would often sulk if I didn’t get what I wanted!

Most of the time I didn’t have a clue how to behave in a mature and dignified way.

I’m sure I was a nice person in many ways, but I certainly felt heavily challenged with myself and how I related in life.

My main strategy usually involved so much effort trying to change myself and other people so that I could feel better.

Now when I reflect on how I used to be, it sounds absurd, but at the time that was the only strategy I had.

I could certainly see that it didn’t work, but I didn’t have another choice.

That’s the incredible revolution Balanced View brought for me, in this one simple change of allowing myself to be as I am, whatever I am experiencing, and really making it clear that I have a choice in every single situation, no matter how wronged, justified or outraged in my perceptions I might feel.

By applying this little commitment again and again throughout the day, I started to see unbelievable changes in my speech and behaviour, and amazingly, in the way that I relate to my thoughts, emotions and experiences.

Where there used to be a lot of ranting in thoughts and speech, there started to be more openness, spaciousness and a sense of fun.

Now I often chuckle at the random and intense things that can come up for me, and it has become much easier to stop connecting the dots, “I feel this way because of this, and if I do that, this will happen, and I wish that person did this and not that because then I would feel better.”
That used to be what my conclusions about things looked like, but I am not really interested in that anymore.

By being able to allow my data to be as it is more and more, I started to see I was no longer trying to change myself and everyone around me.

Being with people started being a lot more relaxed, enjoyable and rich.

I had this impression before that people were really draining, but what was draining was my incapacity to be at ease with all the data that come up about people.

Now that I can let that be as it is and not take it to mean anything about anyone in particular, I have so much space to actually enjoy people, truly listen and be available.

I have so many ideas and opinions about myself, everyone, everything, and more and more I can just let those be as they are. They are less distracting.

These ideas and opinions change all the time, and I feel so grateful and truly satisfied to no longer take them seriously.

As a result I experience deep peace within myself.

I have experimented with allowing myself to be as I am in very intense data storms where it seemed impossible to just be myself with all the fear, self-hatred, self-criticism and grief.

I took a lot of support to harmonise the relationship to myself.

One moment at a time, I have learned that there is nothing in these emotions that can actually harm me, and I borrowed the assurance of my open intelligence elders many times.

I let data be as they are, one step at a time, and while feeling all these things, I am able to also care for myself in a loving and simple way and truly feel indestructible peace.

To me that is crucial because it allows me to offer that space of peace to anyone around me who is feeling particularly afflicted and not good enough.

It’s such a gift to offer an example of not relating from self-aggression.

I can be with people without being disturbed by their data, and just focus on being of service, because I can be with myself without being disturbed by my data, and serve myself so beautifully through the Four Mainstays support.

I want to finish by sharing a sentence from one of the texts, which I often hear in my mind and has always been of support to me: “Just relax and take care of yourself as you are.”

I love this care and simplicity, and it really has changed everything for me 🙂

Thank you so much dearest Candice and everyone in the community. Gaelle

Relaxed Self-Care One Moment at a Time

For as long as I can remember I had the belief that looking after myself was a waste of time and focus and that it was rather selfish.
When an acute illness became chronic my beliefs about self-care didn’t change, and for many years I really struggled to look after myself and to feel worthy of care and fulfillment in that circumstance.

When I found the Balanced View training I was not convinced at all that being gentle with myself was a clever approach. Surely I had to beat this and push myself in every possible way in order to be a worthwhile person.
I could not even see that that approach had never worked and had participated in making the illness much worse.
It took me a few years to be bold enough to test out what it feels like to really relax and rest, to learn what it means to be truly kind to myself while facing everything that comes up fully.
The support of the Four Mainstays has been priceless in that.

As I started to see my belief systems around self-care more clearly, I also started to see that I am much more efficient, stable, kind and fulfilled when I know what my needs are and how to meet them in a responsive, clear and mature way.
I love learning to parent myself in this way and I can really say I started from the beginning.

For me it took a lot of humility to see that I needed role models in kindness and gentleness, and it also challenged my ideas about what resting means.
I love that I can take one short moment of complete rest at any time, in any situation, whether I am bed-bound or having a day where things are easier.
To know that I can rest all ideas, feelings, descriptions and speculations is an immense treasure every day.

Sometimes self-care looks like a nap, or joining a Clarity Call, writing to my trainer, listening to a talk, reading the beautiful texts, sometimes it looks like a moment of quiet reflection, or looking at my plants, sometimes it looks like eating nourishing food or talking to a friend, sometimes it is creating something.
In the training I was not given a recipe book for how to take care of myself, but empowered to see in each moment what is needed, and empowered to not be afraid of the data that is constantly changing in such a random way.
Instead of focusing on how I feel and how I want to change that, the focus naturally started to be on solutions in a fluid way which amazes me every day.

I never thought I would say that I know exactly how to care for myself now. That confidence is very valuable, because the illness is still a large part of my circumstances, and instead of resisting it and trying to become who I wish I was, I am able to care for the person that I am right now without pretense and with much less victimhood.

I am very grateful for that and it frees up some space for finding things that I can do with great joy and without harming myself.

Thank you so much for this easeful relationship with myself which really makes a difference in how I relate to everyone. Gaelle

The Harmony I always Wanted

In the Balanced View Training I have learned profoundly life-changing and essential skills to have easeful relationships and to live my daily life in the way that I always wanted.

From being very young, the most important thing to me was harmony, but I did not know how to bring it about.
For most of my life I thought that talking about emotional states was the best way to have harmony in all relationships, and it was so sad and frustrating to see that it never really worked.

Now more and more it is easier to see that talking about data is not helpful. Instead, to rely on the short moments which are always here and so easily accessible is really potent and incredibly dignified.
I love it! I am so grateful that I can choose this dignity and respect more and more often. To be supported in that is so precious to me and I never take it for granted.
I love that everything in the Teaching points to the gentleness of one step at a time, and that it is always possible to rely on natural care and perfect love, that it is always possible to make amends and relax right here no matter what we have said and done up until now. That has been so powerful to me, and crucial in harmonising the relationship to myself, and as a result it has transformed all my relationships.
To see that I never need to be attached to the comments, judgements, opinions and ideas that stream is a complete blessing and makes everything so much kinder and dynamically fun, truly beneficial without any effort.
Thank you with all my heart. Gaelle

No Longer Afraid of Myself

Before finding the Balanced View Training, for as long as I could remember, I had been afraid of everything. Every situation, whether extreme or mundane, used to bring up so much fear and anxiety for me. I became very good at ignoring it whenever possible, very skilled at pretending that I was confident, but inside I never felt secure or safe. It was such a painful way to interact with myself, with people and with life in general, and self-doubt was permanent.


Now I have been in the training for five years and I have received undeniable and incredible results. One of them is that I am no longer afraid of myself.


One day I was reflecting on this and I realised that the power of allowing this crippling anxiety and fear with millions of short moments had fully transmuted that fear into indestructible confidence that, for sure, I will know how to respond to most situations and that I no longer need to be afraid of myself.


It was not like an affirmation, it was an unshakeable knowing coming from seeing again and again in my experience how my response to all situations had shifted from fear to settled confidence. I started to see the spontaneous opening of skilful means I had no idea I had. I feel that relying on my trainer is what helped me most in this, being lovingly and clearly empowered to experiment with short moments of open intelligence at every opportunity with an attitude of openness, respect and nurturing self-care.


It happened so naturally that I did not notice the process, all I know is that I kept showing up openly and humbly took the short moments, with so much fear at first, and then bravely allowing the confidence in short moments to expand and showing me that it is safe to feel complete paralysing fear and anxiety. It did not destroy me like I thought it would. In that I found such stability and power and no longer need to avoid this side of myself, to the point that I don’t really notice when it comes up anymore. It is no longer a distraction or a threat, it is no longer the primary perception in all my interactions. It’s such a huge relief and a very relaxing way to be, and I am deeply grateful for that every day. 🙂 Gaelle

The Kindness of Short Moments

Last week I was talking with a friend who has been everywhere and done everything.

I came out of it feeling drained and really boring, like there was
absolutely nothing about me that was interesting, like I had nothing
to contribute to anyone.

My first wish was for these feelings to change so that I would be more
comfortable and at peace with myself again, feel some kind of

Then I remembered the kindness of short moments!
Short moments never get old and I love to experiment with them.

I saw again that it was ok to feel exactly the way I was feeling, and I
thought of how many people feel like this every single day: like they
have to be better, to compete, to be really interesting and clever,
to have amazing lives, to do so much, to be charismatic, to always
have an interesting opinion about everything, to save the world, to
be admired, approved and self-confident, to be validated by the
admiration they receive.

I am not so interested in that anymore because I prefer the gift of being
always comfortably myself and not seeking satisfaction from people or
experiences, and that is one of the things that Balanced View supports me with.

It’s so powerful and soothing to feel completely boring, useless and
stupid and to not try to change that. I find deep, indestructible
self-respect within that.

The ultimate self-love I find in short moments is that I don’t need to
prove to anyone (not even to myself) that I am a great person.

To be just as I am, openly listening and responding, is very relaxing and humble, no fixed identity, box or label to say I am like this or like
that, just able to meet people as they are with less and less
self-referencing. Thank you so much! 🙂

What Short Moments Gave Me

It’s always really nice for me to reflect on the gift of short moments.
When I found the Balanced View Training I was struggling with all sorts of things and they seemed of great importance to me.
I was often trying to tweak and improve things about myself, my life and other people, and often frustrated with all the effort it took, often disheartened when it did not go as well as planned and I had to find yet another strategy to deal with everything.
I was coping with my circumstances well enough but I felt that something was missing, and it was quite difficult for me to know what my role in life was, due to being very ill and unable to do most of the things I had been enjoying before.
I felt like an obsolete part of society and as if I had become transparent, most things and people out of reach.
I wanted to change my life and I was convinced that I would not be able to contribute to humanity until I had changed certain things about myself.
Now it’s quite fun five years later to see that the exact same circumstances are no longer afflictive, even if they have not changed.
I no longer seek to change them at all cost, to eradicate them or to pursue different ones.
That is one of the significant gifts of short moments: being at peace with my circumstances, even if they are not my preference, and being at ease with everything that they bring up for me.
Being at ease with how I am, even what I don’t like about myself, even when I feel I said or did the “wrong” thing or when I feel complete despair about my situation. That’s allowed, that’s normal, and it’s no longer gripping. It’s so lovely to no longer be afraid of myself, of what I think and feel.
Being at ease with asking for clear support so that I am truly empowered to take the best care and to do my very best—without any effort.
I have no energy to spare so I really appreciate that short moments take no effort whatsoever.
Resting naturally, relaxing the mind completely, relaxing my ideas about everything and everyone, what a break and what a gift, and I can repeat it as much as I need to. That gives me more focus on the really important things in life!
My mum tells me I am less impulsive, less sorry for myself, and she’s very pleased about it. It’s awesome for me to know that my parents and loved ones no longer need to worry about me because I respond to life in a more mature and peaceful way.
I am more easygoing, flexible and cheerful, not taking people hostage of my moods.
If things don’t go the way I want, it is not such a big deal, and I always, always have the gift of short moments: immediately available, immediately clarifying, instantly opening and expansive, complete self-care on the spot, complete care and respect of others right now. Taking a short moment is always my choice and I am so grateful to be supported in that.

True Friendship

I have only ever participated in the Balanced View Training online.
So naturally, people can be skeptical that my Balanced View friends are “real” friends.
Should I not be a bit more suspicious and exercise more caution?

This prompted me to reflect on what friendship means to me, what it depends on.

What is a real friend?

To me a friend is a person who supports me to be my best, exemplifies compassion and respect in relating, grounded in gratitude and openness, contributing to making the world a nicer place to be in.

The fact that such persons are seen with suspicion, even cynicism, is a sign that the world we live in is pretty sad, and of how rare it is to be supported in being our best.

Therefore, I do treasure my training friends, even if I have never met them in person, and I might never meet them, because my quality of life and relating has been upgraded to what being truly kind, beneficial and openhearted means to me.

At the same time, instead of encouraging me to be just with them, those friends fully support me to be even more inclusive, to deeply enjoy and respect everyone I meet, giving everyone a chance for me to get to know them before I judge, so that in turn I can be a real friend, supporting those I know and love to be their best, to be comfortable just as they are.

My training friends support me by example, not by telling me what to do. I don’t like being told what to do, but I am always inspired by people who behave in a way that I admire, and I naturally imbibe that, because it is how we are born, it is easy to reactivate.
Babies have no ideas and opinions, they are taught what to learn and how to behave over time, so it is our natural state to be free from opinions, and it’s possible to go back to that, such a pure freedom, real joy and empowerment.

I can say with complete assurance that this is much a happier way for me to be than the way I used to be, so desperately arrogant, opinionated, paranoid and judgemental, and ultimately not trusting myself, not able to care properly for myself, feeling quite alone most of the time and not fully enjoying life due to constant fears and anxiety, constant tension and criticism. What a drag! Never again.

It is a matter of choice, what mountain do I want to climb, how do I want to show up in the world, what is most important to me?

I love being comfortable just as I am! I love it, I love to take care of myself with total respect and discernment, I love to meet people with more and more openness and fun. I am deeply grateful each and every day for the treasures that I receive in this training and for my loving friends. Gaelle

“Just Wait and See”

 When I first joined Clarity Calls around 4 years ago there was this sentence in one of the texts, “I like to just wait and see.”
I thought, “I’d love to be able to do that!” To me it conjured up a very wise, trusting, poised and peaceful way to approach life, but my experience was mostly to be really anxious about how things would turn out, with lots of thinking and worrying, lots of expectations and impatience, a lot of misunderstanding and misery, and more often than not, saying and doing things I regretted.
Though I dealt with life well enough, I rarely felt at peace or beneficial.
Very gradually, one short moment at a time, taking support from Balanced View‘s Four Mainstays openly and regularly, the pervasive anxiety started to fade into the background and I started to be less reactive, less aggressive. It is rarely noticed now, rarely a problem, where before it really was the main flavour of my experience and usually informed my perception of and response to most people and most situations.
Now I notice that more and more I am able to just wait and see. There are less speculations, elaborations and stories about how things might turn out, and instead there is an easier and more natural focus on resting the mind naturally, relying on open intelligence and its wonderful Mainstays.
To just wait and see doesn’t mean I do nothing about anything. On the contrary, I procrastinate a lot less than before and can see more easily what needs to take priority, what can wait, what needs a different approach, who to ask for support. More and more there is a peaceful and sharp discernment that grows day-by-day in terms of what will serve best in any situation.
I love to consider with my trainer to make sure that I see things from the wider perspective of what serves all. That is also part of “just wait and see”: instead of acting now, saying this now, I rest, I write to my trainer, and I wait. This always helps me to open up everything and settle with my data, and supports me in empowerment.
After a few hours, a few days, or a few minutes, I have a fresher and clearer pespective and I am assured I did not react from data. More and more, making this peaceful choice is becoming natural.
I really enjoy this more simple way to live, more responsive and more responsible. I am very grateful for the empowering support I receive each day. Gaelle

Love the 24/7 Support

One of the many things I really love about
Balanced View is the complete availability of empowering support, 24/7.
When I first heard about that I wondered why anyone would want to support me 24/7 without wanting anything in return, and I did not trust it.
I decided I did not want to rely on a trainer and a community, as I had had bad experiences in the past when trying different kinds of support. I decided I would do it alone and keep to the talks from the trainers and books.
As I listened to more talks and read more of the books, I was amazed to see how much benefit I was receiving just from being with the media. I often heard and read about how important it was to rely on a trainer in order to gain confidence in open intelligence, and that usually relying on all Four Mainstays brought the best results. Eventually I decided to put my fears and ideas aside and give it a try for a few months to see what would happen.
It was amazing to me that no one ever forced me to do anything in particular, I really went at my own pace and joined in as much or as little as I wanted, shared as little or as much as I felt comfortable.
Now four years later, I still use all Four Mainstays every day. I never went back on my decision to try it out, and the support has never failed me.
No question is too silly, no topic is taboo, I can truly bring everything to the Mainstays to clarify all situations and relationships with complete confidence, clarity, dignity and kindness.
This is still amazing to me, that so many people would value my empowerment and wellbeing so much and offer complete support with no conditions.
Just knowing who to talk to in order to empower every area of life is a luxury I never take for granted.
As a result I find that so many situations that used to be deeply uncomfortable or terrifying to me no longer hold a grip, and I also find that many emotions, thoughts and sensations that were relentlessly difficult for me now appear without disturbing me at all.
I find such freedom in this simple but powerful way of being, and now enjoy being supported so that I can be at ease in all circumstances.
With great gratitude for this beautiful and important education. Gaelle


Complete Mental and Emotional Stability within Long-Term Illness

One of the circumstances I really wanted to change when I started the Balanced View Training was severe long-term illness—I really, really wanted to get rid of that and was ready to try anything to get better so that I could do all the things I wanted to do instead of being housebound in so much pain and discomfort every day.
Being supported to allow all data to be as they are, I gradually saw that there was no way I could control the illness or make it disappear, and that changing my data was not the point of the training.
Instead, I learned how to be completely empowered within that circumstance until it was no longer a huge problem I wanted to eradicate.
That doesn’t mean I enjoy it! I don’t think anyone enjoys being ill and in pain every day, but I deeply enjoy being able to rely on my natural, relaxed, beneficial and open intelligence with everything that appears around chronic illness.
It brings me a great spaciousness and responsiveness within what used to feel extremely limiting and terrifying.
Of course everything still comes up: doubts, fears, hopes, despair, feeling isolated, feeling useless, etc. That’s totally natural, but now I hardly notice it, and I identify less with the old feelings of being a sick person. It makes such a difference for me to live from an attitude of uncontrived ease, trust and empowerment within the illness and everything it brings.
With the support of the Four Mainstays I have become able to more and more rely on complete relaxation, on my power to know instead of relying on all the symptoms, thoughts and emotions to inform my choices, and in that way really great and practical solutions spontaneously present themselves so that I can enjoy a better quality of life and take the best care in each moment, in a flexible, open and relaxed way.
I also welcome help more easily, and ask for help whenever needed. I used to be at once so proud and ashamed and resisted asking for help.
Now I see it is not a sign of weakness to ask for support, it is just what we do as humans, we are here for each other.
I use the awesome support every day and enjoy it very much, it has revealed to me that complete emotional and mental stability are absolutely possible no matter what the body does, no matter how extreme and unpredictable it gets, and no matter what I think about it.
That’s a very nice place to live from compared to how I used to live, and makes me feel like I have a genuine place in the world where being just as I am is totally fine, and no matter what I or others think about how I live my life.
That’s a beautiful relief.
I am so grateful to Balanced View for that and much, much more! Gaelle