Grumpiness, gone, gone!

Hello! Thank you for reading this blog. The Balanced View Training has brought so much benefit to my life in all areas and beyond anything I could have possibly imagined, so it’s a pleasure to share my gratitude and my experience for anyone interested in finding out more.

One amazing benefit (and there are many!) is that every morning I had to get up early to go to work, I would feel grumpy and I just assumed that it was okay to be grumpy with others until it passed. I know this is something that many people experience, because I work in a hospital and we start work early.

After a year of participating in the Balanced View Teaching, I had the opportunity to go to one of the Balanced View Centers in India. I really enjoyed being at the Center and so I volunteered to help out. The role I was given was to help with breakfast, another early start!

Every morning, I would wake up feeling grumpy and go to the kitchen. It was the first time I really noticed how grumpy I was and the affect this had on others. I was participating in trainings every day and so it was beautiful to ask for support from the Trainers. I was amazed to discover that these shining beings also experienced grumpiness, but they were no longer affected by it. And also, that I didn’t have to try to stop being grumpy. I could just allow the thoughts and emotions to be as they were and use them as an opportunity to practice recognizing the grumpy data as open intelligence for short moments. Was there anything real about the grumpiness? Could I hold onto it or was it more like a rainbow in space? And it was so funny that once the grumpiness had passed, I would feel happy again. So, it showed me that thoughts and emotions simply appear and then vanish without a trace.

I started to enjoy early mornings because they became an opportunity for empowerment. Whenever I remembered, I relaxed for a short moment with the data of grumpiness and I found that whenever I did, the data just self-released and it was like there was nothing there. I also found that I could relate with others much more openly at that time in the morning and that I had much more energy and enthusiasm to contribute.

I have to say that several years later, I don’t actually notice grumpiness anymore. It has completely gone! Instead I experience the heart wish to step up to the responsibility of serving whatever circumstance I am in with the power I have to benefit all, and this is amazing. There is just the all-pervasive knowing that all is well, and that thoughts and emotions are fueling my capacity to be of benefit in the world. So, instead of grumpiness there is the always-on stability and enjoyment of life and the joy that comes from contributing to and connecting with others, whatever time of day it is.

I am deeply grateful for this empowerment in my life. I had for many years been so limited by what I thought and felt. To be empowered by everything that arises, to be fueled rather than limited, to experience the natural stability, clarity and joy of life, no matter what I am thinking or feeling and to contribute this to others, it’s just the best. I am especially grateful to precious Candice O’Denver who discovered this in her own experience and has dedicated her entire life to sharing it with others. With all of my heart, I wish this for you too.


Relaxed Self-Care One Moment at a Time

For as long as I can remember I had the belief that looking after myself was a waste of time and focus and that it was rather selfish.
When an acute illness became chronic my beliefs about self-care didn’t change, and for many years I really struggled to look after myself and to feel worthy of care and fulfillment in that circumstance.

When I found the Balanced View training I was not convinced at all that being gentle with myself was a clever approach. Surely I had to beat this and push myself in every possible way in order to be a worthwhile person.
I could not even see that that approach had never worked and had participated in making the illness much worse.
It took me a few years to be bold enough to test out what it feels like to really relax and rest, to learn what it means to be truly kind to myself while facing everything that comes up fully.
The support of the Four Mainstays has been priceless in that.

As I started to see my belief systems around self-care more clearly, I also started to see that I am much more efficient, stable, kind and fulfilled when I know what my needs are and how to meet them in a responsive, clear and mature way.
I love learning to parent myself in this way and I can really say I started from the beginning.

For me it took a lot of humility to see that I needed role models in kindness and gentleness, and it also challenged my ideas about what resting means.
I love that I can take one short moment of complete rest at any time, in any situation, whether I am bed-bound or having a day where things are easier.
To know that I can rest all ideas, feelings, descriptions and speculations is an immense treasure every day.

Sometimes self-care looks like a nap, or joining a Clarity Call, writing to my trainer, listening to a talk, reading the beautiful texts, sometimes it looks like a moment of quiet reflection, or looking at my plants, sometimes it looks like eating nourishing food or talking to a friend, sometimes it is creating something.
In the training I was not given a recipe book for how to take care of myself, but empowered to see in each moment what is needed, and empowered to not be afraid of the data that is constantly changing in such a random way.
Instead of focusing on how I feel and how I want to change that, the focus naturally started to be on solutions in a fluid way which amazes me every day.

I never thought I would say that I know exactly how to care for myself now. That confidence is very valuable, because the illness is still a large part of my circumstances, and instead of resisting it and trying to become who I wish I was, I am able to care for the person that I am right now without pretense and with much less victimhood.

I am very grateful for that and it frees up some space for finding things that I can do with great joy and without harming myself.

Thank you so much for this easeful relationship with myself which really makes a difference in how I relate to everyone. Gaelle

A Life of Increasing Benefit

I wish to share of the heart-warming experience of resting with afflictive thoughts and emotions (we call these data to make it simple).

As of the age of 9 years old I can recall thoughts of not being loving enough, of not being good enough, of believing that there is something fundamentally wrong with me, no matter what I did, wherever I went, these were just around the corner. Funny enough, I recall once flying abroad for the first time, and I was amazed to see that these were packed for the journey with me. Believing in this data was not funny at all, it brought great hardship, and endless work to prove otherwise, and no matter what, they came back again and again. The tactic I knew at the time was to blame myself and to try and do good in the world. There was no ease, no tranquility, no stability – doing good gave a momentary relief, only till the next time. It was endless – and weird enough, it seemed like a normal life of everyone having their own share.

At the age of 31 years old I began seeking, there was some relief in various techniques and meditations, and when seemingly strong data came up, there was no ease at sight. I was traveling in India at the time, and was very fortunate to have received seven talks of Candice O’Denver, I began listening to them and I heard something that felt so good and true, something that I never before heard, an unerring message with great conviction. Looking back, I received a treasure that would be the opening to a life of increasing ease and benefit to myself and others – the doorway to self-kept freedom, it was that I always wished for, the real deal, the real deal.

I wish to thank from depths of my heart to Candice O’Denver, the founder of Balanced View, who dedicates her life to inexhaustibly benefit beings, to the Balanced View Trainers who dedicate their lives to support participants and to the world wide community of brave beings.

Living up to our potential as a human society

Hello dear people,

I want to share my gratitude to all the people who are taking
part in Balanced View. It is amazing that this entire worldwide organization is based almost entirely on volunteers, and more amazing is the high quality and standards in which things are done. It is amazing to see how everything is being done in an effective and caring manner when the disposition of everyone is to be of benefit to all. More amazing, is to see the “benefit of all” in action when people are relying on open intelligence. What I see is people who are solution oriented, respectful, caring and responsible, and it is really happening in a grounded way. Not in a funny way where you are sure people are going to explode because they are trying to put on a happy face.. I mean, it is amazing – there is so much volunteer work to run the organization, international training centers, local communities, projects, etc., and people are really empowered to cooperate in a respective caring and responsible way for the benefit of all. I see it in my own experience and I love working with other people who rely on open intelligence! It is so amazing! And I see it all around me – people are thriving in their gifts and talents, contributing generously
and enjoying harmonious and empowering relationships. This is the kind of society I have always wished for and it is amazing to see it in action.

It is such a pleasure and honor to share my life with so many other people who rely on open intelligence, and I want to thank everyone for
demonstrating in this way how we as human society can live up to our potential of a healthy, prosperous and empowering society.

Amit Harpaz


Not knowing

Clearly I appear to have made some alterations after coming to Balanced View, as before I was often in a state of not knowing, needing to know, irritable searching, not getting there, blanking out, trying this and trying that.

Coming to Balanced View is the opposite of struggle and I have experienced a direct change in my life where I now just let all be as it is, letting go, allowing, no matter what trouble arises, feeling I could never go back where I was before.

I also realise how social change can come about without words just by contact with someone who lives as open intelligence. It makes me understand how far indeed one travels when one understands the nature of mind.


Freedom from Suffering

Before I met the Balanced View training I did not even think freedom from suffering was attainable. Ha ha :-). However, I discovered that by relying on open intelligence there was freedom from suffering amidst experiences of physical and emotional pain. I discovered that the suffering is created through my own resistance and that nothing can actually cause me suffering. I discovered that no amount of pain whether physical or emotional has any influence on who I truly am and that all appears in, of, as, and through great bliss.

It is really beyond anything that can be imagined with the mind that has been trained in reification. Only through trust in my teacher and the teachings was I able to experience this gradually. I will be forever grateful for the skilful guidance of the teaching that leads to increasing absence of suffering.

Fearless in Fear

I see now how much I was afraid of before discovering the Balanced View Training. What would or could happen that I didn’t want to, that I’d have to do things I didn’t feel like doing, social anxiety, confusion and sadness. Life felt like it was more about actively avoiding things I didn’t want to experience than anything else; constantly categorizing everything into good/bad/indifferent like a robot on autopilot.

My partner Max and I had attended a number of in-person Balanced View trainings, mostly in California, and we decided I would attend the next California gathering alone for the first time. I’d be journeying there from Vancouver, Canada; ~16 hours of driving taking the fastest highway, and 25+ hours taking the coast. We have a hybrid car that makes driving a good money-saving option, so this is usually how we get there.

At first it seemed okay that I’d be driving there alone, but as time crept closer to leave, the fears got wild: What if someone rapes and kills me at a rest stop? What if I run out of gas in the middle of nowhere and my phone is dead? What if I’m driving perfectly but someone suddenly swerves into me from oncoming traffic? All the absolute worst scenarios were raging in my head, and I found their intensity very convincing! I wrote my trainer Mia about it, and that was a good move. Fear kept arising, but something in me knew I should still go for it regardless of how intense and relentless the stories were.

The trip began with a perfect opportunity to relax when I was sent to secondary inspection at the border, standing in what looked like a snaking amusement park line for more than two hours before speaking to a border guard who was to interview me. I ended up showing him my website on his computer and talking about art I make, nothing heavy about the situation or talking to him. The thoughts of where I should be by now or all the time wasted standing in line amazingly wasn’t the focus or what I related from.

When I was free to go, I just felt happy to finally be on my way. I listened to Balanced View talks most of the time, and that was immensely helpful. If fears or frustrations arose while driving the busy highway 5, listening to the talks naturally reminded me that I didn’t need to go with that data, and in fact there was nothing wrong with the data itself or experiencing it.

The training was beautiful, and a new experience to be there without Max and see all was well. Driving home went just as smoothly as getting there. The border guard on the way back gave me a bit of a hard time, but luckily not to the point of sending me to secondary again! I made it home safely and was greeted by my sweethearts Max and Sprout.

A year later when the training was offered once more, Max couldn’t get the time off work, but I was again in a position where I could go. This time, I looked forward to the journey by car and was excited to take the scenic route along the coast; taking my time over a few days driving only 7-9 hours per day, sleep in my little makeshift bed in the back of the car, and enjoy the many incredible state parks and beaches along the coast of Oregon and California. My only vivid resistance was crossing the boarder, given my experience there and back last time. But I knew I was going even if they sent me to secondary inspection both times, so just planned ahead for that and left a bit earlier than I usually would.

The morning I was to leave, I felt so tired and lazy about it, and thought over and over that it would be so much easier to not go at all or have to deal with cold border guards and waiting in giant lineups. Max assured me I’d have a good time once I was out on the road, and he always seems to be right when he makes proclamations like that. I let my heart lead the way and drove into the unknown.

I was in a car lineup to the border for about an hour and a half; the perfect amount of time for all the worries to intensify! Imagining all the time I’ve waited in the border line plus if they send me to secondary, that would officially be too much and would affect the rest of my trip and where/when I can stop and that is not good, etc. Once it was finally my turn though, I breezed right through without issue. Yet another potent example that intensity of data or what has happened in the past doesn’t necessarily mean that’s what will happen now.

Once I reached the 101, as Max had assured, I was happy to be there. I listened to Balanced View talks, music, podcasts; enjoying the more easygoing flow of traffic compared to the busier interior highway while surrounded by trees and awe-inspiring beaches along the way. Sleeping soundly in rest areas, I’d wake up and go for little morning hikes on nearby trails before finding coffee and driving to the next nature spot. Every moment of the way I felt so fortunate to be in the position to enjoy the drive and its nature, and be heading to a gathering that has powerfully exposed and opened me to so much with every attendance.

At one point on rustic highway 1, I noticed there were more miles to the nearest gas station than I had left in fuel. I remembered our car goes into pure electric mode if it’s driven under a certain speed and not going uphill, so I kept under that speed and watched the little “EV” letters light up whenever possible. Eventually, the amount of gas I had left slowly surpassed how many miles were left to the station! As it did, I was relaxed but alert, not knowing if the EV plan would work, but again remaining open and responsive without panicking. Such a nicer way to face whatever arises.

The San Rafael training was perfect. Each time I attend, I see how far I’ve come. To no longer be afraid of feeling or experiencing anything, this is what I’m doing this for, and why I keep participating. Every direct result never fades or is forgotten once recognized, with nothing to memorize or struggle to keep in place.

On my way home, it was still sunny when I reached my designated rest stop, so I spontaneously felt like driving more. I drove until about 11:30pm and happened upon a quiet moonlit campground parking lot with a washroom. Waking at 7am, I drove until I reached home at around 9pm that night. Crossing the border was again a breeze, and no lineup! The highway heading home from the border has a huge open area where you can see so much of the sky at once, and I feel like every time I’ve come home from the training, the sun is piercing through the most immense and beautiful clouds.

I was greeted by Sprout, our new kitty Boo, and later my sweet Max when he got home. And oh, the best shower ever! The surreal feeling of being home after a trip always elicits deeper gratitude. Gratitude for the trip, gratitude for home and everything in it, and most of all gratitude to see fundamentally I’m always home even if the scenery changes.

Thank you dearest Candice for offering the California teachings, and great gratitude to my trainer Mia and partner Max for their kind support and encouragement to dive (/drive) into the abysses that seem too scary. I am forever grateful to keep discovering fearlessness in fear with the easeful support and encouragement offered in Balanced View.

Heart-break opening up into self-love

Dear friend,
Thank you for taking an interest in the Balanced View Training. It is the best “thing” that happened in my life and I’d like to share a practical example of the benefits, one that is current in my life.

In relation to ending a long-term intimate relationship, I am experiencing all the normal data streams: rejection, grief, anger, depression, sadness, bitterness, confusion, regret, disappointment, betrayal etc. etc. – you name it 🙂 Quite some time has passed since this relationship ended, but the data are occasionally still coming up, freely and wildly. I see two major benefits in relation to this experience:

1) I am not so much commenting on myself for “still” having these data. I can see in retrospect that I used to keep my mind on such a tight leash, always censoring and correcting its content in different ways according to what I expected of myself or what I perceived society expected. Like now, I probably “should” be over this person and not think about them anymore. I would always tweak my experience in different ways and try to box it into what a “good person” should be. Now, I feel I am completely opening up to life exactly as it is. In this I find great self-love. I feel like a cosy child who is perfectly fine just the way she is, and who does not need to be corrected and analysed in any way. It’s like I have come more to terms with the fact that my mind is wild and wholly and not subject to being corrected or tamed. I don’t need to get rid of the grief, but neither do I need to emphasise it.

2) Through the daily support of the Four Mainstays empowerment network of Balanced View, such as copying text, writing to my trainer, watching media and hanging out with community friends, I am finding that inseparable from the data, however I define it, is this immense, immense love, the deepest intimacy with life and with myself and a sort of wild happiness for everything that me and my partner share. The data is somehow becoming clearer, but in becoming clearer I see it already when it arises and in that moment I have gained the ability to rely on the open, spacious intelligence that pervades it and recognise the ease and power that is always on. I see that this data, in being so reoccurring, is becoming integrated into my everyday experience and a very normalised expression of the complete life-power that is always on – as opposed to some sharp, painful anxiety that I desperately need to get rid of. Amazing!

Today for instance, I see I have had all the data labels that I mentioned in the beginning, but I still feel that it has been a perfect day, filled with purpose, cheer and safety. Wow. The best thing ever is the bliss of not collapsing into data but staying ever-more open, however that looks. I am excited to continue living this life of increasing safety and power and I deeply wish it for everyone who wants it too.
Much love, Beate.

Perfect trust and guidance!

Before I came to the Balanced View Training I remember I felt like a victim of life’s circumstances, having a disease (reumatism) and often much pain in my body. I came to the Training five years ago, and how stunned I was to see the wonderful videos at Balanced

The profound impact it made direct!!! How the Trainers and participants shared so clear and completely true, shining so bright and powerfully in all their unique way!!! completely wonderful to see, hear and subsume!!! This inspired me to go deeper in to the Training.
I found that The Four Mainstays empowerment network give me the perfect trust and guidance to live much more at ease, even with pain of the disease, and all feelings of being a victim. With the wonderful support of The Four Mainstays I don’t see me as a victim today, and I am empowered to be everything I can be, living in much more love for myself and all!!
With Gratitude Per

Becoming stable, loving and happy :)

Before I met the Balanced View Teaching, I had a history of wrecking relationships due to being overwhelmed by the strong emotions of jealousy and envy.

I once threw my best friend out my house in a fit of jealous rage because she seemed to want to spend more time with another friend.

In intimate relationship, there was always one woman I was sure my partner was attracted to. I would obsess over this woman, comparing myself to her, analysing every interaction between her and my partner, always coming to the conclusion that she was far superior to me, and my partner was going to leave me for her. I would collapse into states of worthlessness and misery. Especially I would do this in public places like at parties where my partner and the woman were. This brought a great deal of suffering and disharmony to the relationships and always resulted in them coming to an end.

In addition, there was also the jealousy of female friends for their gifts, strengths and talents. I had such negative thoughts and belief systems about my own capacity, I always felt other women were better than me and I would often try to replace the data of worthlessness by competing with them and saying things to put them down and make myself seem better. This made friendships with women difficult and sometimes impossible. I could never understand why.

The Balanced View Training introduced me to open intelligence, the most powerful force of intelligence, benefit, clarity and love which unites us all. I completed the fundamental training called the Twelve Empowerments. This training empowered me to see how and why I was causing all this disharmony in my relationships. Just through following the simple steps of the training with the support of amazing trainers, I was supported to relax with the strong emotions of jealousy and envy and to let them flow on by. I was empowered to recognise open intelligence.

Overtime, with the incredible support of the Four Mainstays empowerment network (short moments, trainer, training and community), I have come to see that the data of worthlessness, which I so desperately wanted to avoid because it didn’t feel safe to be worthless, is open intelligence and is actually my power to be of great benefit to all.

The Balanced View Training has taught me to rest mind naturally for short moments whenever I remember. When data of worthlessness arise, which can come up in any interaction, rather than getting lost in jealous/hateful/miserable stories about myself and others and acting from this, I can take a short moment of open intelligence, just resting naturally and let worthlessness be as it is.

I experience the most incredible results from this practice. I experience such a powerful depth of compassion for myself and for others, understanding completely the reasons why we cause suffering. This has gifted me such capacity to love myself and others, just as we are, and to relate with an open and loving heart even when feeling completely worthless in relationship with another.

Stability, relaxation and happiness is now my every day experience, and just naturally being this way contributes so much benefit to all my relationships, and to any circumstance. I have beautiful relationships with my family and friends. It is just so wonderful to see how easy it has become to relate with people, each interaction an opportunity to share love and to support each other to shine. Intimacy has become much easier and enjoyable because I no longer believe there is something wrong with me and so I can be open, perfect as I am, enjoying the closeness that comes about with myself and others, the trust that builds and the beautiful capacity to contribute to each other, seeing more and more how I can be of benefit to myself and those I love.

I am so grateful to Candice O’Denver, the founder of Balanced View for offering this Teaching, and to all the trainers and participants who support me along the way. Just from continuing with the practise of short moments and the support of the Four Mainstays, life and relationships blossom in the most beautiful, powerful way.
A gift for all beings!

With great love,