I am living in Stockholm, Sweden, am a musician and love living Four Mainstays life. I am so happy for having this precious opportunity to write on this blog and share my experience. I will share my experience how the Four Mainstays has helped me as a musician and performing.
I have been playing music for many, many years (17 years ago, since I was ten) and been studying at various schools and colleges where I have met many musicians. I am very grateful for the education I’ve got and the people I’ve met.
Since I met the Balanced View training, the relationship I have with music now is totally different. Earlier on, I was focusing on learning as many tunes as I could, accumulate knowledge, thought of what other people thought about me when sitting on stage, what people would say afterward, try to fit as the normal being, not stick out, but at the same time having my own musical identity and unique expression. This was very difficult to keep up and took me a lot of energy. Also keeping track on how other people did, but pretend that no one noticed what I was thinking of. It happened consciously and unconsciously.
So, when meeting the precious Four Mainstays, I got such a beautiful support from my trainer to step by step let these ideas of mine be as they were. I reflected on my situation, came to the conclusion that I did not want to be a victim of this any longer. What I really wanted was freedom. Freedom in the immediacy of perception. Not free OF it, but free IN and AS it. Not replace, indulge or avoid. I wanted complete freedom in all my experience and I knew that this was possible after meeting some precious beings who role modeled this way to relating to life.
All this haunting and drilling myself, mentally beating myself up for not being good enough, being a better person etc., I wanted a stop. Being nervous – fail. Cold hands – fail. Tension – fail. Playing wrong – fail.
Something I was very worried about giving up was “If I relax, try out what is suggested in the teaching, and not try to be something but just give up the identity I was trying to hold on to, will I still love music?”
I gave a go. 8 years ago I picked up the first Balanced View book, and today I am writing on this blog with a big smile on my face 🙂